Sleeping Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. They told me at the blood bank this might happen.
2. This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to.
3. Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper.
4. I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!
5. This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!
6. I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.
7. Actually I'm doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP). I learned it at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.
8. I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress.
9. Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.
10. The coffee machine is broken.

Bill & Hillary Clinton were sleeping one night at the White House. Hillary wakes up and starts shaking Bill to wake him up. " Bill, Bill wake up."
Bill stays sleeping. Hillary continues, " Bill, Bill wake up."
Bill finally wakes up and says, " What do you want?"
Hillary responds, " I have to go use the bathroom."
To which Bill says, " Please tell me you didn't wake me up just to tell me you have to go to the bathroom."
Hillary says, " No, I just wanted to tell you to save my spot."

The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey wake that student up!"
The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"

10. They told me at the blood bank this might happen.9. This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to. 8. Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time!7. I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm. 6. I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.5. I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?4. Somone spiked the coffee machine. 3.. ..in the name of Jesus...Amen2. Someone must've put decaf in the wrong potAnd the #1 best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk...Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.

An exhausted looking blond dragged himself in to the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep."
"I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. "Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over."
"Great," the blond answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot."
A few weeks later the blond returned, looking worse than ever. "Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!"
"I don't understand how that could be", said the doctor, shaking his head. "Those are the strongest pills on the market!"
"That may be true," answered the blond wearily, "but I'm still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it's hard getting him to swallow the more...

Santa Patient: Doctor At Night I Don't Feel Sleepy.
Banta Doctor: What Happened?
Santa Patient: Till 12 o'cloch I Wait For The Sleep But When It Doesn't Come I Go For Sleeping.

If you get caught sleeping on the job, here's some quick excuses!
It's okay...I'm still billing the client.
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time-management course you sent me to.
I was working smarter, not harder.
"Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper"
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!
I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance
I'm in the management training program
Actually doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) you learned at the last mandatory seminar your boss made you attend.
This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamt about work!
"I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory more...