Shopping Jokes / Recent Jokes
Taught by men, for women. 101
Avoiding Walking in Front of the TV 102
Doing Housework Without Complaining 103
Shopping: Buying What You Can Afford, Not What You Can Charge 104
Going to The Washroom Alone
(formerly Coping Without My Friends) 105
Understanding the Male Response to "Do I Look OK?" 106
Exercise: How it Keeps You from Looking Like Your Mother 107
Learning How to Initiate Intimacy 108
How to Apologize When You Are Obviously Wrong 109
Understanding the Male Response to "Am I Fat?" 110
Dishwashers: Rinsing Before Is Not a Must 111
The Toilet Seat: I Can Learn to Put It Down Too 112
Using the Thesaurus: Alternatives to "Make Love" 113
"The Weekend" and "Long Boring Walks" Are Not Synonymous 114
How to Go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Embarrass Him 115
The Remote Control: Don't Touch What You Can't Handle 116
You Too Can Be the One to Hang Up the Phone more...
In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with his son. As I walked by, he checked
something off his list, and I heard him whisper conspiratorially to the child, "You know, if we really mess this up, we'll never
have to do it again."
I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just as he was telling me that his wife was getting carried away with her shopping, a brief power shortage caused the lights to
flicker overhead.' That,' he sighed,' must be her checking out now.'
Three traveling salesmen happened to meet in a bar in New Jersey. One of the men was from Tennessee, one was from North Carolina and one was from Kentucky. They got acquainted and started talking about problems with their wives.
The guy from Tennessee began by saying, "I told my wife in no uncertain terms that from now on, she will have to do all of the cooking, and I want dinner on the table when I walk in the door. Well, the first day, nothing, the second day, still nothing. But on the third day, a wonderful dinner was prepared, with wine and even dessert."
Then the man from North Carolina spoke up, "I sat down my wife down and told her that from now on, she will have to do all of the shopping and I want the house spotless when I get home. The first day, the house was a mess, the second day, no change. But! on the third day, the whole house was spotless from top to bottom, and the pantry was full of groceries."
The fellow from Kentucky, was married more...
A woman was out Christmas shopping with her two children. After
many hours of looking at row after row of toys and everything else
imaginable, and hearing both her children asking for everything
they saw on those many shelves, this woman finally made it out of
the store and to the elevator with her two kids.
She was feeling what so many of us feel during the holiday season
time of the year: Overwhelming pressure to go to every party,
every housewarming, taste all the holiday food and treats, get
that perfect gift for every single person on our shopping list,
make sure we don't forget anyone on our card list, and the pressure
of making sure we respond to everyone who sends us a card. Not to
mention, getting the kids everything they ask for.
Finally the elevator doors opened--there was already a crowd in
the car. This woman pushed her way into the car and dragged her
two kids in with her, along with all her bags of more...
A sales clerk asked his boss how to handle people who complained about the current prices compared to the low prices in the good old days."Just act surprised and tell them you didn't think that they were old enough to remember them."