Shelter Jokes / Recent Jokes

WHAT A DOG THINKS
Wow, these people feed me, bathe me, pet me, shelter me - they must be gods!
WHAT A CAT THINKS
Wow, these people feed me, bathe me, pet me, shelter me - I must be a god!

A man and his wife are stranded on a desert island.

The wife begins to lose interest in her husband and wishes on a star that she could find another man.

The next day a man is washed on shore.

He is very handsome and he is consumed by lust for the wife.

The husband is pleased to have another man to help with work around the island.

The stranger and wife, falling in love with one another, wanted to have mad passionate sex on the beach, so he thinks of a plan.

Wanting to be safe from wildlife on the island, they decide to build a shelter high up in the trees.

The stranger worked on the roof while the husband and wife worked down on the beach.

Periodically the stranger would yell to them from the tree house,' 'Hey! No having sex! Get back to work!''

At this, the couple would yell back,' 'We're not having sex!''

This happened several times while he worked on the roof of the more...

Tommy Kempfer and Lisa Thompson had been living in a truck, hoping to outlast the other in a contest to win a new 30,000-dollar vehicle from WMAD-FM in Madison. After 55 days, the station became concerned that the contest would never end. On Tuesday, the station offered the two a compromise: End the contest and receive 10,000 dollars toward the purchase of a new vehicle or continue with the runner-up receiving nothing. Both agreed to the deal. The truck was later donated to a local homeless shelter; it was returned the next day because the shelter said the truck smelled awful.

There is a major difference between the way a dog thinks and the way a cat thinks.
A dog says, "You feed me, shelter me, pamper me, and love me. You must be God."
A cat says, "You feed me, shelter me, pamper me, and love me. I must be God."

From a year-end planning guide published by Richard L. Hodge, CPA of
Northboro MA:
"It has been said that the only real tax shelter is death. That's
because a decedent's assets are revalued at their fair market value
at the date of death...
"If the total value of an estate exceeds $600,000, there may be an
estate tax. That is paid by the estate before the heirs get anything.
Massachusetts estate tax applies to amounts in excess of $50,000, but
that has been changed and will gradually increase to the $600,000
exemption by 1996. A good planning strategy is to defer death until
at least 1996."

A female truck driver decided to buy herself a big dog for protection while she was on the road. She went to the local animal shelter and asked about one particularly large and fierce looking dog and the attendant told her, "He doesn't like men."

Perfect, she thought, and so she bought him. Later that week, she was in a dark parking lot and two big, rough looking men started walking toward her. Sure enough, as the attendant at the animal shelter had told her, the dog didn't like men. He promptly ran and cowered under the nearest car.

In rain all birds occupy shelter but eagle is
da one 1 dat avoids da rain by flying above da clouds.
Problem is common to all but attitude makes da difference!