Schnauzer Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three dogs are sitting in the waiting room of a vets office. One is apoodle, one is a schnauzer and the other is a great Dane. The poodle turns to the schnauzer and asks "why are you here?" The schnauzer responds, "I'm 17 years old. I don't see or hear very well. I've been having accidents in the house. My owner says I'm too old and sickso he brought me here to be put to sleep." The schnauzer asks the poodle "why are you here?" The poodle responds, "I've not been myself lately. I've been especially highstrung. I've been barking all the time, I've been snapping at people and Ieven bit one of the neighbor's kids. Nobody knows why this has beenhappening. My owner says he can't risk me biting somebody else so he broughtme here to be put to sleep." The poodle and schnauzer ask the great Dane why he is here. The great Dane responds: "My owner is this beautiful runway model. Yesterdayshe was walking around the house naked when she suddenly bent more...

Three dogs are sitting in the waiting room of a vets office. One is apoodle, one is a schnauzer and the other is a great Dane. The poodle turns to the schnauzer and asks "why are you here?"The schnauzer responds, "I'm 17 years old. I don't see or hear very well. I've been having accidents in the house. My owner says I'm too old and sickso he brought me here to be put to sleep."The schnauzer asks the poodle "why are you here?"The poodle responds, "I've not been myself lately. I've been especially highstrung. I've been barking all the time, I've been snapping at people and Ieven bit one of the neighbor's kids. Nobody knows why this has beenhappening. My owner says he can't risk me biting somebody else so he broughtme here to be put to sleep."The poodle and schnauzer ask the great Dane why he is here. The great Dane responds: "My owner is this beautiful runway model. Yesterdayshe was walking around the house naked when she suddenly bent down more...

Three dogs are sitting in the waiting room of a vets office. One is apoodle, one is a schnauzer and the other is a great Dane.The poodle turns to the schnauzer and asks "why are you here?"The schnauzer responds, "I'm 17 years old. I don't see or hear very well.I've been having accidents in the house. My owner says I'm too old and sickso he brought me here to be put to sleep."The schnauzer asks the poodle "why are you here?"The poodle responds, "I've not been myself lately. I've been especially highstrung. I've been barking all the time, I've been snapping at people and Ieven bit one of the neighbor's kids. Nobody knows why this has beenhappening. My owner says he can't risk me biting somebody else so he broughtme here to be put to sleep."The poodle and schnauzer ask the great Dane why he is here.The great Dane responds: "My owner is this beautiful runway model. Yesterdayshe was walking around the house naked when she suddenly bent down to more...

(True(?) story heard on WVBF, Boston this morning:)
Apparently this woman's miniature schnauzer had an infection
in its ear. The vet told her that it was due to an ingrown
hair and that the best treatment would be to remove the
hair with a depilatory cream. The women went to a drug store
and asked the druggist for assistance in selecting an
appropriate product. He went on about how some were better
for use on legs and how some were gentler and better for
removing facial hair. He then said, "May I ask where you
intend to use this?"
She replied "Well, it's for my schnauzer."
He said, "OK, but you shouldn't ride a bike for two weeks."