Saucer Jokes / Recent Jokes

3 married women are sitting around chatting about their married life and eventually the subject of birth control comes up.
The 1st woman says, "Well, we use condoms and they seem to work ok; we only have 3 children after 20 years of marriage."
The 2nd woman speaks up. "We use the pill and it works really well; we only have 2 children after 20 years of marriage."
The 3rd woman finally speaks up and says, "Well, we don't go for any of that fancy stuff; we use the bucket and saucer method and we don't have any children after 15 years of marriage and we have sex just about every day."
The 2 other women are shocked that someone could be married for 15 years and not use any conventional birth control and not have children so they ask the 3rd woman what the bucket and saucer method is so they can try it.
The 3rd woman says, "Well, I am 6 feet tall and my husband is 5 foot 4, and every time we have sex we are standing up. Now, as he is so more...

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store. He does a double take.
He knows that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.
The storeowner replies, "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale."
The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you 20 dollars for that cat."
And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.
The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."
The owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take.

He knows that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.

The store owner replies "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale.

The collector says "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat."

And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.

The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."

And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."

A famous art collector is walking through Greenwich Village when he notices a mangy old cat lapping milk from a saucer in front of a store. And the collector
does a double take when he sees the saucer. He knows it's very old and very valuable. So he saunters casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for
two dollars.
But the store owner says to him, 'I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale.'And the collector says, 'Please. I need a hungry old tomcat around the house to catch mice. I'll give you ten dollars for him.'And the owner says, 'Sold,' and takes the ten dollars. Then the collector says, 'Listen, I was wondering if, for the ten dollars, you might include that old
saucer. The cat seems to be used to it. It'll save me a dish.'
And the owner says, 'Sorry, buddy. That's my lucky saucer. So far this week, I've sold sixty-eight cats!'

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars. The storeowner replies "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale. The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat." And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat. The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish." And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."

Once there was a girl at a restaurant and ordered anything in a saucer. The waiter was walking to her table when the girl tripped him. The waiter said "Why did you trip me?"
And the girl, without the least of the waiter's worries simply said "I wanted to see a flying saucer!"

In front of a delicatessen, an art connoisseur noticed a mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer. The saucer, he realized with a start, was a rare and precious piece of Ming Dynasty china.

He strolled into the store and offered five dollars for the cat. "It's not for sale," said Morris the proprietor.

"Look," said the collector, "that cat is dirty and undesirable, but I'm eccentric. I like cats that way. I'll raise my offer to ten dollars."

"Make it twenty and it's a deal," said Morris, and pocketed the $20 on the spot.

"For that sum I'm sure you won't mind throwing in the saucer," said the antique connoisseur. "The kitten seems so happy drinking from it."

"Nothing doing," said Morris, the deli owner, firmly. "That's my lucky saucer. From that saucer, so far this week I've sold 32 stray cats."