Safer Jokes / Recent Jokes

SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS. READ AND SAVE THESE INSTRUCTIONS.
WARNING: The following basic safety precautions should always be followed to reduce the risk of fire, shock and personal injury.
Check the voltage on the nameplate.
Implies check the face to see if all is OK
Keep the work place clean.
Which means, ensure there are no knifes, blades or other objects within reach. These invite injuries to the tool (e.g Bobbitization), or to the personnel.
Consider the work environment.
Keep the area well lit (Unfortunately 90% of the time tool is used in dark)
Keep children away.
Before operating the tool make sure that the children are fast asleep.
Store the tool.
When not in use, store the tool in a dry place away from children's reach.
Do not force the tool.
The tool will do its job better and safer at a rate for which it is intended. Do not overwork the tool.
Use the right tool.
When the job is big and the tool is small then change the more...

House Democrats kick off their self-imposed 100-hour deadline to pass priority legislation on Tuesday, beginning with a national security bill.The bill, which aims to pass recommendations by the 9/11 commission, is backed by former commission members Lee Hamilton and Tim Roemer -- a former GOP member of the House.
The legislation would require all air and shipping cargo entering the United States to be screened. The measure also would change the prioritization criteria of homeland security funds for individual states.
"If this bill... is enacted, funded and implemented, then the American people will be safer," Dick Cheney said Monday, "which is why we're against it. The people of this country don't need to be made safer by Democrats."

The ship is safer in the harbour, but it is not meant for that.