Damaged Jokes

Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

Maybe I can`t make you do it but I sure can make you sorry you didn`t!

Maybe you can`t buy happiness, but these days you can certainly charge it.

Measure with a micrometer. Mark with chalk. Cut with an axe.

Men can live without air for a few minutes, without water for a few days, without food for about two months, and without new thoughts for years on end.

Mere unassisted merit advances slowly, if it advances at all.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Most projects require three hands.

Most well-trodden paths lead nowhere.

Multitasking allows screwing up several things at once

SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS. READ AND SAVE THESE INSTRUCTIONS.
WARNING: The following basic safety precautions should always be followed to reduce the risk of fire, shock and personal injury.
Check the voltage on the nameplate.
Implies check the face to see if all is OK
Keep the work place clean.
Which means, ensure there are no knifes, blades or other objects within reach. These invite injuries to the tool (e.g Bobbitization), or to the personnel.
Consider the work environment.
Keep the area well lit (Unfortunately 90% of the time tool is used in dark)
Keep children away.
Before operating the tool make sure that the children are fast asleep.
Store the tool.
When not in use, store the tool in a dry place away from children's reach.
Do not force the tool.
The tool will do its job better and safer at a rate for which it is intended. Do not overwork the tool.
Use the right tool.
When the job is big and the tool is small then change the more...

Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.