Ryan Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ryan Leaf has surfaced as the quarterbacks coach for Division II's number four ranked West Texas State. Leaf has taught his team how to throw a spiral, throw a tantrum, and throw in the towel.

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.St. Paul, MNThe hit movie "Home Alone" about a boy thwarting burglars with imaginative mayhem, wasn't total fantasy. Just ask the guy who tried to break in while 13-year-old Ryan Hendrickson was home alone.Ryan was watching television Wednesday night when he heard a noise that sounded like a window screen being cut."I ran to the closet and grabbed a bat," Ryan said Thursday. "I went...into the dining room, where I saw him cutting the window with a knife. He put his left hand in first and I was waiting for his right hand to come in...and I took the baseball bat and I hit him as hard as I could."The man ran. Ryan called 911.Police, while cautioning Ryan to call 911 first next time, did enjoy the fact that the kid got in the first lick against a bad guy.

CINDY:I BET I CAN MAKE YOU SAY BLACK!
RYAN:HOW?
CINDY:OK. WHATS THE COLOR OF THE AMERICAN FLAG.
RYAN:RED, WHITE AND BLUE.
CINDY:I TOLD YOU I CAN MAKE YOU SAY BLUE.
RYAN:PUT YOU SAID BLACK.
CINDY:HA, GOT YA!

Ryan's Law: Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert.

Hey Ryan, a father is suppose to spend time with his son, not DO time with him.

Ryan Leaf has reached a plea bargain. Which is the only time “Ryan Leaf” and “bargain” have been used in the same sentence.

*"Being John McEnroe"
People line up to see what's it's like to be an immature tennis star who gets dumped by Tatum O'Neal. Followed by yet another sequel: "Being John Mellencamp."

*"Tricentennial Man"
Robin Williams plays a robot who cries so much he rusts himself stiff.

*"Double Jeopardy 2"
Ashley Judd is framed for the murder of Alex Trebek. Co-stars Tommy Lee Jones as Pat Sajak.

*"The Milk-Bone Collector"
Denzel Washington plays a quadriplegic mailman trying to catch a psychotic dog who is terrorizing U.S. postal workers.

*"Bringing Out the Dead II"
A documentary on Al Gore and Bill Bradley's campaign speeches.

*"The D.A.R.E.
Witch Project" Three drug-abuse counselors vanish in the Maryland woods while trying to do an intervention with a heroin- addicted witch. It cost a mere $12.75 to make because it was filmed entirely by more...