Robertson Jokes / Recent Jokes
God to Robertson: "There's good news and bad news. The bad news is there's
going to be a terrorist attack killing thousands of people. The good news is that all those people are fans of the 700 Club, so they're mentally negligible."
I'm trying to be optimistic, but I'm pretty sure this news is going to overshadow my prediction for the coming year, which is that there will be a "mass emailing" late in 2007. My prediction also involves terrorists, but my terrorists are much less concerned about religious extremism and much more concernced about erectile dysfunction.
Much like Pat Robertson, Jesus told me that this would happen. And then he tried to sell me a bottle of Adderol for $1.27. What a ripoff! Buddha totally undercut him with an amazing offer of $0.78 for a crate. It's like I always say, when you get deities competing in a free market, everybody wins.
They have got to be joking! Only in America....................!!!
In 1994, a New Mexico jury awarded $ 2. 9 million U. S. in damages to 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who suffered third-degree burns to her legs, groin and buttocks after spilling a cup of McDonald's coffee on herself.
This case inspired an annual award - The "Stella" Award - for the most frivolous lawsuit in the U. S. The ones listed below are clear candidates.
All these cases are verging on the outright ridiculous and yet with the right attorney you could win anything! (see OJ trial)
1. January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded
780, 000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amok inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving tyke was Ms. Robertson's son.
2. June 1998: A 19 year old, Carl Truman of Los Angeles won 74, 000 and medical more...
Jason Robertson, 26, and Thomas Valliere, 24, two traveling Canadians had been doing a bit of drinking when they decided to buy some cocaine to liven up their island vacation.
Having gotten a number from a local, Jason called, only to be told it was the wrong number. Not one to give up easily Jason called the number again insisting it was correct and that he wanted to buy some cocaine.
Unfortunately for Roberston the number he had called (twice) was to the cell phone of Jeff Jackson, deputy chief of the combined Police and Customs Drugs Task Force for the Cayman Islands. After the second call an undercover policeman telephoned Robertson back to set up the sale.
When he met the pair and handed over the cocaine - actually nondairy coffee creamer -- police swooped in. Robertson and Valliere were fined $1, 000 but since they had failed to actually buy cocaine, they were not charged with possession.
Former New York City Mayor and GOP presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani will speak at Pat Robertson's Regent University in April, the school announced Thursday.
The news comes a day after it was announced that former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, one of Giuliani's chief rivals for the Republican presidential nomination, will deliver Regent's commencement address on May 5.
Giuliani will be the featured speaker at the University's Executive Leadership Series on April 17. The forum will be available to both Regent students and members of the community, according to Regent spokeswoman Sherri Stocks.
"Having provided strong leadership during critical times uniquely qualifies Mayor Rudy Giuliani to speak to Regent students and local community members," Stocks told CNN, adding "and having no qualms about hypocricy uniquely qualifies him to kiss Pat Robertson's ass."
Below is an item that appeared recently in various Humor lists. It did not appear credible to me, so I wrote to the Association of Trial Lawyers of America for their comments on its veracity. Their comments (including a little propaganda for their side) follow the summary of the Stella Awards below. We may have some "goofy" legal decisions in America, but the ones below appear to be bogus.
Origin of the Stella Awards:
In 1994, a New Mexico jury awarded $2.9 million U.S. in damages to 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who suffered third-degree burns to her legs, groin and buttocks after spilling a cup of McDonald's coffee on herself.
This case inspired an annual award - The "Stella" Award - for the most frivolous lawsuit in the U.S. The ones listed below are clear candidates.
January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amuck inside a furniture more...