Williams Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    "Ah, yes, divorce., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
    - Robin Williams
    "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet."
    - Mae West
    "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
    - Robin Williams
    "Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
    - Oscar Wilde
    "Suppose you were an idiot... and suppose you were a member of Congress... but I repeat myself."
    - Mark Twain

    "We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us
    off, and we'll bomb your cities."
    -Robin Williams

    > > > A small town prosecuting attorney called his first > > > witness to the stand in > > > a trial - a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He > > > approached her and asked, "Ms. > > > Jones, do you know me? > > > "She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. > > > Williams. I've known you since > > > you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big > > > disappointment to me. > > > You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate > > > people and talk about > > > them behind their backs. You think you're a rising > > > big shot when you > > > haven't the brains to realize you never will amount > > > to anything more than a > > > two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
    > > > > > > The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, > > > he pointed across the > > > room and asked, "Ms. Williams, do you know the > > > defense attorney?"
    She > > > again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. > > > Bradley since he was a > > > youngster, more...

    A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial, a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
    She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
    The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"
    She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to babysit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The more...

    A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial-a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
    The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"
    She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man more...

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