2000 Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The colonels order

    Hot 6 years ago

    A COLONEL ISSUED THE FOLLOWING DIRECTIVE TO HIS EXECUTIVE OFFICERS:
    "Tomorrow evening at approximately 2000 hours Halley's Comet will be visible in this area, an event which occurs only every 75 years. Have the men fall out in the battalion area in fatigues, and I will explain this rare phenomenon to them. In case of rain, we will not be able to see anything, so assemble the men in the theater and I will show them films of it."
    EXECUTIVE OFFICER TO COMPANY COMMANDER:
    "By order of the Colonel, tomorrow at 2000 hours, Halley's Comet will appear above the battalion area. If it rains, fall the men out in fatigues, then march to the theater where this rare phenomenon will take place, something which occurs only once every 75 years."
    COMPANY COMMANDER TO LIEUTENANT:
    "By order of the Colonel be in fatigues at 2000 hours tomorrow evening. The phenomenal Halley's Comet will appear in the theater. In case of rain in the battalion area, the Colonel more...

    An Asian man walks into

    Hot 5 years ago

    An Asian man walks into the currency exchange in New York with 2000 yen and
    walks out with $72. Next week he walks in with 2000 yen, gets $66. He asks
    the lady why he gets less money this week than last week.
    The lady says "Fluctuations".
    The Asian man storms out, and just before slamming the door turns around
    and says "Fluc you clazy Amelicans too!"

    "They misunderestimate me." -Nov. 6, 2000
    "Rarely is the question asked: Is out children learning?" -Jan. 11, 2000
    "I aim to be a competitive nation." -April 21, 2006

    A COLONEL ISSUED THE FOLLOWING DIRECTIVE TO HIS EXECUTIVE OFFICERS: "Tomorrow evening at approximately 2000 hours Halley's Comet will be visible in this area an event which occurs only every 75 years. Have the men fall out in the battalion area in fatigues, and I will explain this rare phenomenon to them. In case of rain, we will not be able to see anything, so assemble the men in the theater and I will show them films of it." EXECUTIVE OFFICER TO COMPANY COMMANDER: "By order of the Colonel, tomorrow at 2000 hours, Halley's Comet will appear above the battalion area. If it rains, fall the men out in fatigues, then march to the theater where this rare phenomenon will take place, something which occurs only once every 75 years." COMPANY COMMANDER TO LIEUTENANT: "By order of the Colonel be in fatigues at 2000 hours tomorrow evening. The phenomenal Halley's Comet will appear in the theater. In case of rain in the battalion area, the Colonel will give another more...

    A COLONEL ISSUED THE FOLLOWING DIRECTIVE TO HIS EXECUTIVE OFFICERS:
    "Tomorrow evening at approximately 2000 hours Halley's Comet will be visible in this area; an event which occurs only every 75 years. Have the men fall out in the battalion area in fatigues, and I will explain this rare phenomenon to them. In case of rain, we will not be able to see anything, so assemble the men in the theater and I will show them films of it."
    EXECUTIVE OFFICER TO COMPANY COMMANDER:
    "By order of the Colonel, tomorrow at 2000 hours, Halley's Comet will appear above the battalion area. If it rains, fall the men out in fatigues, then march to the theater where this rare phenomenon will take place, something which occurs only once every 75 years."
    COMPANY COMMANDER TO LIEUTENANT:
    "By order of the Colonel be in fatigues at 2000 hours tomorrow evening. The phenomenal Halley's Comet will appear in the theater. In case of rain in the battalion area, the Colonel more...

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