Resent Jokes

A drunk was sitting at the bar when he suddenly jumped up and yelled, "All lawyers are assholes!"
Hearing this, the guy sitting across from him quickly stood up and said, "Hey buddy, I resent that!"
"Why, you a lawyer?" the drunk asked.
"No," replied the guy, "I'm an asshole!"

"I resent that remark." said the blonde as she rose from the cafeteria table. "I'll give you 5 seconds to take that back."
"Oh yeah?" snarled the dark haired woman, who upon standing was head and shoulders above the blonde. "Suppose I don't take it back in five seconds?"
"Well. .." stammered the blonde, "how much time do you need?"

Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: (Gary Hart) This oblique reference to screwing is an obvious attempt to drag my personal life into this campaign. Frankly, I resent it, and the American people resent it.

Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: (Al Gore) As usual, the other left-wing wacko candidates are putting forth solutions that moderate Southerners won't cotton to on Super Tuesday. At least I hope not.

Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: (Paul Simon) My media experts tell me I'm foolish for wearing my hair the same way I did in the 50's. But that's what Paul Simon's all about. And I suppose my media experts are gonna say I'm foolish for this, but in all candor, I change my light bulbs the same way I did in the 50's: my wife gets on a ladder and I turn more...

Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: (Gary Hart) This oblique reference to screwing is an obvious attempt to drag my personal life into this campaign. Frankly, I resent it, and the American people resent it.

"I resent that remark." said the blonde as she rose from the cafeteria table. "I'll give you 5 seconds to take that back."
"Oh yeah?" snarled the dark haired woman, who upon standing was head and shoulders above the blonde. "Suppose I don't take it back in five seconds?"
"Well..." stammered the blonde, "how much time do you need?"