1988 Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A New Orleans lawyer needed 75 stitches after a two-metre shark
    in a restaurant aquarium lunged out and bit him.
    - Canadian Lawyer, December 1988 ("What a Wacky Year: a
    look back at some of the strange and bizarre stories and
    events of 1988")

    Prime Minister of Romania: "What kind of year will 1988 be?"
    Economics Minister: "Average, sir."
    PM: "What do you mean, average?"
    EM: "Average. Better than 1989, not as good as 1987."
    Fred Wamsley

    Bush and His Running Mate

    Now that it seems almost a certainty that George W. Bush will become the Republican nominee for President, attention will soon focus upon whom Governor Bush will pick for his Vice Presidential running mate. It is rumored that one of the names on the `short list` currently being floated in upper level Republican circles is former Vice President, Dan Quayle.

    For many, there seems to be some very sound reasoning for picking Quayle. As was pointed out by one senior official who wished not be identified, Quayle "already knows how to do the job, will contribute gaffes that will deflect attention away from Bush`s own, and in a cost saving side benefit will help the party minimize printing costs for new `Bush-Quayle` posters and bumper stickers (since they can use the leftovers from the 1988 and 1992 campaigns).

    Apparently, part of the overall strategy is the targeting of a key demographic group that has been virtually ignored in more...

    Man`s Best Friend
    "Let me give you a little serious political advice. One single word. Puppies. Worth the points." -George Bush Sr., in 1990
    "If the terriers and bariffs are torn down, this economy will grow." -George W. Bush, in Jan. 2000
    Political Savvy
    "It`s no exaggeration to say the undecideds could go one way or another." -George Bush Sr., in 1988
    "Listen, Al Gore is a very tough opponent. He is the incumbent. He represents the incumbency. And a challenger is somebody who generally comes from the pack and wins, if you`re going to win. And that`s where I`m coming from." -George W. Bush, in Sept. 2000
    Freudian Slips
    "For seven and a half years I`ve worked alongside President Reagan. We`ve had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We`ve had some sex... uh... setbacks." -George Bush Sr., in 1988
    "It was just inebriating what Midland was all about then." -George W. Bush, reflecting in 1994 more...

    Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A: (Gary Hart) This oblique reference to screwing is an obvious attempt to drag my personal life into this campaign. Frankly, I resent it, and the American people resent it.

    Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A: (Al Gore) As usual, the other left-wing wacko candidates are putting forth solutions that moderate Southerners won't cotton to on Super Tuesday. At least I hope not.

    Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A: (Paul Simon) My media experts tell me I'm foolish for wearing my hair the same way I did in the 50's. But that's what Paul Simon's all about. And I suppose my media experts are gonna say I'm foolish for this, but in all candor, I change my light bulbs the same way I did in the 50's: my wife gets on a ladder and I turn more...

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