Media Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Little Red Riding Hood

    Hot 8 years ago

    Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log.
    "My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf," says Little Red Riding Hood.
    The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away!
    Further down the road, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again-this time he is crouched behind a tree stump.
    "My what big ears you have Mr. Wolf, " says Little Red Riding Hood.
    Again the foiled wolf jumps up and runs away!
    About two miles down the track, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time crouched down behind a road sign.
    "My, what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf," taunts Little Red Riding Hood.
    With that, the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you get lost?
    I'm trying to take a shit!"

    Chuck Norris, Arnold Swartzenagger, and Jean Claud VanDam, were talking one day. Chuck Norris asked, "If you were a musician, who would you be?".
    Chuck Norris said, "I would be Motzart." Jean Claud VanDam said, "I would be Bethoven." Arnold said, "I'll be Bach!"

    Martha Stewart vs Me

    Hot 8 years ago

    Martha Stewart vs Me...
    Martha's way: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
    My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.
    Martha's way: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shape pancakes every time.
    My way: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds. The hard part is getting them out of the plastic bag.
    Martha's way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in thebag with the potatoes.
    My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
    Martha's way: To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard boiling.
    My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway?
    Martha's way: To get the most juice out of fresh more...

    1) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices, which have large red read-outs to tell you exactly when it will go off.
    2) Should you need to pass yourself off as a German officer it will not be necessary to speak the language, a convincing accent will do.
    3) All apartments in Paris overlook the Eiffel tower.
    4) Most lap top computers are powerful enough to override a bank security system or the communication system of an invading alien civilization.
    5) Every single person in martial arts Film has a black belt in karate.
    6) When staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
    7) 1 man shooting at 20 men has more chance of hitting them than 20 men shooting at 1 man if he is the hero.
    8) During a police investigation it will be necessary to visit a strip joint at least once.
    9) Large studio-type apartments in big cities are affordable by single people with a low wage.
    10) The entire more...

    Tell me a Story!

    Hot 8 years ago

    A reporter goes way up into the hills of West Virginia to write an article about the area. He meets an old man in a small town and asks him about any memorable events in his life.
    The old man says, "Well, one time my favorite sheep got lost, so me and my neighbors got some moonshine and went looking for it. We looked and looked and finally found the sheep. Then we drank the moonshine and one by one, started shagging the sheep. It was a lot of fun!"
    The reporter figured he can't write an article about that, so he asked the old man to tell him another story.
    The old man said, "Well, one time my neighbor's wife got lost, so me and all the village men got some moonshine and went out looking for her. We looked and looked and finally we found her. Then we drank the moonshine and one by one, started shagging the neighbor's wife. Now, THAT was a lot of fun!"
    The reporter, feeling frustrated, finally told the old man that he couldn't write articles about more...

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