Rejection Jokes

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    Rejection letter!

    Hot 6 years ago

    Dear Manager,
    Thank you for your letter of April 25th. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a position in your company.
    This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
    Despite your companies outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position in your department this August.
    I look forward to seeing you then.
    Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.
    Sincerely,
    Interviewee

    October 28, 1958 - Angleo Giuseppe Roncalli was elected Pope. He took the name John XXIII.
    TRADITION
    Every time a new pope is elected, there are a lot of rituals and ceremonies that have to be gone through, in accordance with tradition. Well, there's one tradition that very few people know about.
    Shortly after the new pope is enthroned, the chief rabbi seeks an audience. He is shown into the pope's presence, whereupon he presents him with a silver tray bearing a velvet cushion. On top of the cushion is an ancient, shriveled parchment envelope.
    The pope symbolically stretches out his arm in a gesture of rejection.
    The chief rabbi then retires, taking the envelope with him and does not return until the next pope is elected. John XXIII was intrigued by this ritual, whose origins were unknown to him. He instructed the best scholars of the Vatican to research it, but they came up with nothing. When the time came and the chief rabbi was shown into his presence, he more...

    I think of you as a sister.
    (You're ugly.)
    There's a slight difference in our ages.
    (You're ugly.)
    I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
    (You're ugly.)
    My life is too complicated right now.
    (You're ugly.)
    I've got a girlfriend.
    (You're ugly.)
    I don't date women where I work.
    (You're ugly.)
    It's not you, it's me.
    (You're ugly.)
    I'm concentrating on my career.
    (You're ugly.)
    I'm celibate.
    (You're ugly.)
    ...and the number 1 rejection line given by men (and what it actually means)
    Let's be friends.
    (You're sinfully ugly.)

    Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women (and what they actually mean... )
    10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")
    9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You are one jurassic geezer.)
    8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.)
    7. My life is too complicated right now. (I'm waiting for a rich Sugardaddy.)
    6. I've got a boyfriend. (I've got a vibrator.)
    5. I don't date men where I work. (Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)
    4. It's not you, it's me. (It's not me, it's you.)
    3. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)
    2. I'm celibate. (One look at you and I'm ready to swear off men altogether.)
    ...and the number 1 rejection line given by women (and what it actually means)
    1. Let's be more...

    TOP TEN REJECTION LINES GIVEN BY MEN (and what they actually mean):
    10. I think of you as a sister.
    (You're ugly.)
    9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
    (You're ugly.)
    8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
    (You're ugly.)
    7. My life is too complicated right now.
    (You're ugly.)
    6. I've got a girlfriend.
    (You're ugly.)
    5. I don't date women where I work.
    (You're ugly.)
    4. It's not you, it's me.
    (You're ugly.)
    3. I'm concentrating on my career.
    (You're ugly.)
    2. I'm celibate.
    (You're ugly.)
    1. Let's be friends.
    (You're sinfully ugly.)

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