Ages Jokes

During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not
putting on your armor because you were "just going down to the corner."

Here is a collection of freshman history bloopers collected by a Canadian history professor (Anders Henrickson) over the years.
During the Middle Ages, everybody was middle aged. Church and state were cooperatic. Middle Evil society was made up of monks, lords and surfs. It is unfortunate that we do not have a medivel European laid out on a table before us, ready for dissection.
After a revival of infantile commerce slowly creeoed into Europe, merchants appeared. Some were sitters and some were drifters. They roamed from town to town exposing themselves and organized big fairies in the countryside.
Mideval people were violent. Murder during this Period was nothing. Everybody killed someone. England fought numerously for land in France and ended up wining and losing. The Crusades were a series of military expaditions made by Christians seeking to free the holy land (the "Home Town" of Christ) from the Islams.
In the 1400 hundreds most Englishmen were more...

Women's Lifestyles Through the Ages

AGE... DRINK
17... Winecoolers
25... White wine
35... Red wine
48... Dom Perignon
66... Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser

EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES
17... Need to wash my hair
25... Need to wash and condition my hair
35... Need to color my hair
48... Need to have Francois color my hair
66... Need to have Francois color my wig

FAVORITE SPORT
17... shopping
25... shopping
35... shopping
48... shopping
66... shopping

FAVORITE DRUG
17... shopping
25... shopping
35... shopping
48... shopping
66... shopping

DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17... "Burger King"
25... "Free meal"
35... "A diamond"
48... "A bigger diamond"
66... "Home Alone"

FAVORITE FANTASY
17... tall, dark and handsome
25... tall, dark and more...

Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa.
She is half discovered, half wild.


Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America.
Fully discovered and scientifically perfect.


Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India & Japan.
Very hot, wise and beautiful! !!!!!!!!


Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France.
She is half destroyed after the war but still desirable.


Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Germany.
She lost the war but not the hope.


Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia.
Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there.


Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England.
With a glorious past but no future.


After 70, they become Siberia.
Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

> I'm sure you guys will find these amusing. ..
>
>
>
> > > >>>> Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women
> > > >>>> (and what they actually mean)....
> > > >>>>
> > > >>>>
> > > >>>> 1. I think of you as a brother.
> > > >>>> (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing
> qo3^> > >>>> geek in "Deliverance.")
> > > Ui: 6>>>>
> > > >>>> 2. There's a slight difference in our ages.
> > > >>>> (You are one jurassic geezer.)
> > > >>>>
> > > >>>> 3. I'm not attracted to you in' that' way.
> > > >>>> (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid
> > > >>>> eyes upon.)
> > > >>>>
> > > >>>> 4. My life is too complicated right now.
> > > >>>> (I don't want you spending the whole night
> > > >>>> or else you may hear phone calls from all
> > > >>>> the other guys I'm seeing.)
> > > >>>>
> > > >>>> 5. I've got a boyfriend.
> > > >>>> (Who's really my male cat and a half more...