Complicated Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    10. I think of you as a brother. Translation: You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in 'Deliverance.'
    9. There's a slight difference in our ages. Translation: I don't want to do my dad.
    8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. Translation: You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.
    7. My life is too complicated right now. Translation: I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.
    6. I've got a boyfriend. Translation: I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.
    5. I don't date men where I work. Translation: I wouldn't date you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same building.
    4. It's not you, it's me. Translation: It's you.
    3. I'm concentrating on my career. Translation: Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.
    2. I'm celibate. Translation: I've sworn off only the men like you.
    1. Let's be friends. more...

    As an architect watched a mechanic remove engine parts from his car, a surgeon, waiting for his own car to be repaired, walked over. They introduced themselves, and began talking about their lines of work.
    "You know," said the architect, "I sometimes believe a mechanic's work is as complicated as the work that we do."
    "Perhaps," the surgeon commented. "But let's see him do it with the engine running."

    I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated.

    I'm not against Avril Lavigne or anything, I like her, but I heard this, and it was pretty funny. This is the changed lyric to the chorus of Complicated:
    "Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated?
    You see the way I'm scrunching up my pitiful face when I'm on the toilet,
    And during this I -
    I push, and I strain, and I sweat, and I pray, Dear Lord, that you'll let it come out;
    Sooner or later I'll have to leave the bathroom,
    Yeah, yeah, yeah..."

    Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women (and what they actually mean...)
    10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance".)
    9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (I don't want to do my Dad.)
    8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.)
    7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)
    6. I've got a boyfriend. (I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.)
    5. I don't date men where I work. (I wouldn't date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)
    4. It's not you, it's me. (It's you.)
    3. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)
    2. I'm celibate. (I've sworn off only the men like you.)
    1. Let's be friends. (I want you more...

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