Reduce Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Canadian study shows that smokers seem to have smaller penises, due to the smoking.

Health Canada should take note of that penis study.

There is no doubt that news of reduced size and endurance, if properly advertised, will end smoking once and for all in the male population. .. of this man hath no greater fear.

To save taxpayers a whole bunch of money, we asked the Page Six Research and Jingle Division -- currently out stocking up on nicotine gum and Viagra -- to create some new lines for those government warnings on cigarette packs.

Here's what came up.

* These cigarettes are king size -- and you're not.

* Smoking sections in restaurants aren't the only things getting smaller.

* If you don't reduce your smoking, your smoking will reduce you.

* Smoking may lead to ridicule on your honeymoon.

* Smoke rises -- you may not.

* Second-hand smoke can be harmful to children -- if more...

Recent Canadian government research has shown that cigarette smoking not only impairs sexual ability, it actually causes shrinkage of the male sexual "equipment." Wow! If that is true, we need to get the word out ASAP! Maybe the warning on the cigarette packs should be updated to reflect this new information. How about something like this: * Warning: These cigarettes are king size - how about you? * Warning: Smoking sections in restaurants aren't the only things getting smaller. * Warning: If you don't reduce your smoking, your smoking will reduce you. * Warning: Smoking may lead to ridicule on your honeymoon. * Warning: Smoke rises, but you may not. * Warning: Second-hand smoke can be harmful to children - That is.. if you're capable of conceiving any. * Warning: Cigarettes get shorter the more you puff - so do you. * Warning: How can you enjoy a smoke afterwards, if there's no before? * Warning: The only thing left after a smoke is a dead stub. * Warning: Don't throw lit more...

Recent Canadian government research has shown that cigarette smoking not only impairs sexual ability, it actually causes shrinkage of the male sexual "equipment."
Wow! If that is true, we need to get the word out ASAP! Maybe the warning on the cigarette packs should be updated to reflect this new information. How about something like this:
* Warning!: These cigarettes are king size - how about you?
* Warning!: Smoking sections in restaurants aren't the only things getting smaller.
* Warning!: If you don't reduce your smoking, your smoking will reduce you.
* Warning!: Smoking may lead to ridicule on your honeymoon.
* Warning!: Smoke rises, but you may not.
* Warning!: Second-hand smoke can be harmful to children - That is... if you're capable of conceiving any.
* Warning!: Cigarettes get shorter the more you puff - so do you.
* Warning!: How can you enjoy a smoke afterwards, if there's no before?
* Warning!: The only thing left after a more...

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Monday, December 7, 1992In October, an envelope containing $15,000 in cash was left, anonymously, on a chair at the Detroit IRS office with the instruction to apply it "to reduce the national debt."

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident? A: Be too drunk to find your keys.