Pupil Jokes / Recent Jokes

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

· Teacher: What`s 2 and 2?
Pupil: 4
Teacher: That`s good.
Pupil: Good. That’s perfect! · Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Pupil: That`s not fair! You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one! · Teacher: How much are half of 8?
Pupil: Up and down or across?
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0! · What kind of food do math’s teachers eat?
Square meals!

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive.
"Dead," she was informed.
"How do you know?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!'... and it didn't move."

· Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren`t the best teacher in the school · Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had · Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Our puppy toilet trained on it · I failed every subject except for algebra.
How did you keep from failing that?
I didn`t take algebra! · nb

· Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon! · Teacher: Is Lapland heavily populated?
Class: No, there are not many Lapps to the mile!
Teacher: Name an animal that lives in Lapland!
Pupil: A reindeer
Teacher: Good, now name another.
Class: Another reindeer! · Teacher: That`s quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it?
Pupil: I don`t know teacher. What will you give me? · Teacher: You aren`t paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?
Pupil: No, teacher I`m having trouble listening! · Teacher: What is the Great Plains?
Pupil: 747, Concorde and F-16! · &am