Proxy Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Proxy Father

    Hot 4 years ago

    The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed his wife and said,' 'I'm off. The man should be here soon''.

    Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.' 'Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to....''

    ''Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you,'' Mrs. Smith cut in.

    ''Really?'' the photographer asked.' 'Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies.''

    ''That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?'' asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.

    ''Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out.''

    ''Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and more...

    Proxy Fathers

    Hot 6 months ago

    If you like British humor! This is really good!
    The British Government's policy of socialized medicine has recently been broadened to include a service called "Proxy Fathers".
    Under the government plan, any married woman who is unable to become pregnant through the first five years of her marriage may request the service of a proxy father - a government employee who attempts to solve the couple's problem by impregnating the wife.
    The Smiths, a young couple, have no children and a proxy father is due to arrive. Leaving for work, Mr. Smith says, "I'm off. The government man should be here soon." Moments later a door-to-door baby photographer rings the bell...
    Ms Smith: "Good morning."
    Salesman: "Good morning, madam. You don't know me, but I've come to..."
    Ms Smith: "No need to explain, I've been expecting you.
    Salesman: "Really? Well, good. I've made a specialty of babies, especially twins."
    Ms Smith: more...

    After Mrs. Jacobs found out her husband was sterile, the couple decided to hire a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jacobs kissed his wife and said 'I'm off to work, Lydia. The guy should be here soon.' Wouldn't you know it, a door-to-door baby photographer came by half an hour later, hoping to make a sale. Mrs. Jacobs answered the door. 'Good morning, ma'am. You don't know me, but I've come to...' 'Oh yes, I know why you're here. Harry told me you'd be coming soon.' 'He did? But I...' 'Come right in! No use wasting time .' 'Very well, then.' The photographer took out his briefcase and sat down. 'As you may already know, I've made a specialty of babies.' 'Good, I'm glad,' said Mrs. Jacobs. 'That's just what Harry and I were looking for.' 'I usually like to try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed,' said the photographer. 'The living room floor is fun too...you can really spread out.' 'Bathtub? Living room more...

    Babies Are His Specialty

    Hot 6 months ago

    The Jones didn't have any children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jones kissed his wife and said, "I'm off, honey. The man should be here soon."
    Half an hour later, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell with the hopes of making a sale.
    "Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to... "
    "Oh, there's no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Jones cut in.
    "You have?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."
    "That's exactly what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked a blushing Mrs. Jones.
    "You just leave everything to me," he replied. "Usually, I try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread more...

    The British Government's policy of socialized medicine has
    recently been broadened to include a service called "Proxy Fathers". Under
    the Government plan, any married woman who is unable to become pregnant
    through the first five years of her marriage may request a service of a
    proxy father, a government employee who attempts to solve the couple's
    problem by impregnating the wife.
    The Smiths, a young couple, have no children and a proxy father is
    due to arrive. Leaving for work, Mr. Smith says, "I am off. The Government
    man should be here soon." Moments later a salesperson rings the bell......
    Ms. Smith: "Good morning"
    Salesman: "Good morning madam. You don't know me, but I've come to....."
    Ms. Smith: "No need to explain, I've been expecting you"
    Salesman: "Really? Well, good. I've made a speciality of babies,
    especially twins"
    Ms. Smith: "That's what more...

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