Proverbs Jokes / Recent Jokes
As any experienced conversationalist can tell you, ambiguity is the key to winning any argument. Following are a few popular proverbs and counter-proverbs that will allow you to turn a conversation in any direction you want.Actions speak louder than words.
The pen is mightier than the sword.Look before you leap.
He who hesitates is lost.Many hands make light work.
Too many cooks spoil the broth.Clothes make the man.
Don't judge a book by its cover.Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Better safe than sorry.The bigger, the better.
The best things come in small packages.Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Out of sight, out of mind.What will be, will be.
Life is what you make it.Cross your bridges when you come to them.
Forewarned is forearmed.What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
One man's meat is another man's poison.With age comes wisdom.
Out of the mouths of babes come all wise sayings.The more, the merrier.
Two's more...
Confucius Says:Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion.Man who love and loses, have not right lawyer.When lady say `no´ she mean `perhaps´ when she say `perhaps´ she mean `yes´ but when she say `yes´, she not a lady.Man who run in front of car get tired.Man who run behind car get exhausted.When man 60 marry girl 25, like buying book for someone else to read.Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.
Confucius Says:Television never replace old reliable key hole.Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for Joy...Laziest man in world who marry widow with six children.Man with one chopstick go hungry.Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache. Man who scratches backside should not bite fingernails.Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.Kids are like Legos, lot of fun to make, but sooner or later, only end up messing up house.
Confucius Says:Man who stand on toilet high on pot.Crowded elevator smell different to midget.He who eats too many prunes, sits on potty many moons.Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.Man who make love to girl on hill...he not on level.Honeymoon over when man who whispered sweet nothings before now say nothing sweet.Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself.Man who drive like hell bound to get there..
A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest:
As you shall make your bed so shall you... mess it up.
Better to be safe than... punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the... bug is close.
It's always darkest before... daylight savings time.
Never underestimate the power of... termites.
You can lead a horse to water but... how?
Don't bite the hand that... looks dirty.
No news is... impossible.
A miss is as good as a... Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new... math.
If you lie down with the dogs, you'll... stink in the morning.
Love all, trust... me.
The pen is mightier than the... pigs.
An idle mind is... the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke, there's... pollution.
Happy the bride who... gets all the more...
A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were
actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading these keep in mind that these are first graders...Better to be safe than - punch a 5th grader.Strike while - the bug is close.It's always darkest before - Daylight Saving Time.Never underestimate the power of - termites. You can lead a horse to water but - how? Don't bite the hand that - looks dirty. No news is - impossible. A miss is as good as a - Mr. You can't teach an old dog new - math. If you lie down with dogs, you'll - stink in the morning.Love all, trust - me.The pen is mightier than the - pigs.An idle mind is - the best way to relax. Where there's smoke there's - pollution.Happy the bride who - gets all the presents. A penny saved is - not much. Two's company, three's - the Musketeers. more...
A Third grade teacher collected well known proverbs.
He gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to come up with the rest.
Here is what the kids came up with:
Love all, trust. .. me.
No news is. .. impossible.
Strike while the. .. bug is close.
A miss is as good as a. .. Mrs.
A penny saved is. .. not much.
Don`t bite the hand that. .. looks dirty.
You can`t teach an old dog. .. math.
None are so blind as. .. Helen Keller.
The pen is mightier than. .. the pigs.
An idle mind is. .. the best way to relax.
Where there is smoke, there`s. .. pollution.
Better to be safe than. ... punch a 5th grader
Happy is the bride who. .. gets all the presents.
Never underestimate the power of. .. termites.
When the blind lead the blind. .. get out of the way.
If at first you more...