Polar Jokes / Recent Jokes
polar bear walks into a bar, says to the barman: "can i have a gin... and tonic" barman asks "why the big pause" polar bear replies, well they run in my family.
"Mommy," said the baby polar bear, "am I one hundred percent pure polar bear?"
"Of course you are, son," said his Daddy, "Why do you ask?"
"`Cause I`m f-f-f-freezing!"
How to catch a polar bear: Go up north and find a frozen lake or pond. Cut a large hole in the ice. Open a can of green peas, and place the peas around the edge of the hole single file. Hide behind a nearby rock. When the bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice-hole!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Mars Polar Lander
Mars Polar Lander who?
...
A mummy polar bear and a baby polar bear are sitting on and iceberg watching an ice flow go by.
The baby polar bear says to the mummy polar bear, "am I a polar bear?"
The mother says, "of course you're a polar bear!"
They sit silently for a while, and then the baby polar bear repeats his question, and gets the same answer.
A little while later the baby polar bear says, "am I REALLY a polar bear?" By this time the mother is a little irritated, and says, "of course you're a polar bear! Your dad is a polar bear, your brother is a polar bear and I'm a polar bear, so you're a polar bear! What is all this nonsense?"
"Well, if I am a polar bear, why am I so bloody freezing?!"
A Filipino guy gets stopped by immigration at the airport. Immigration tells him, "Use the words' chicken not bread' in a sentence." The Filipino looks around, puts a bag over a woman's head and yells, "Chee kennot bred! Chee kennot bred!" (accent on "she cannot breathe")
An arctic explorer^
An arctic explorer came face to face with a polar bear. Afraid of being eaten, he fell to his knees and started praying. When the polar bear knelt down beside him and started praying too, the man shouted, "It's a miracle!" The polar bear opened one eye and said "Don't talk while I'm saying grace."