Left-handed Jokes

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    The results of statistics

    Hot 6 months ago

    1. Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed
    2. All polar bears are left-handed
    3. If your car is stolen, there's a 10 percent chance it was taken by a Polar bear
    1. 39 percent of unemployed men wear spectacles
    2. 80 percent of employed men wear spectacles
    3. Work stuffs up your eyesight
    1. All dogs are animals
    2. All cats are animals
    3. Therefore, all dogs are cats
    1. A total of 4000 cans are opened around the world every second
    2. Ten babies are conceived around the world every second
    3. Each time you open a can, you stand a 1 in 400 chance of becoming pregnant

    LEFT-HANDED

    Hot 1 year ago

    Mr Harpreet Singh Gulati is traveling from Moscow to Turban Pore [Capital of Khalistan] by "Kithe" Pacific.Seated besides him is Gary Kasparov. Gary asks him whether he would like to play chess to kill time.
    Gulati :"Oye Gar(r)y. You think I don't know who U are?. I can't compete with a world champion"
    Gary: "How about if I play left handed ?"
    Gulati: [Think.. Think..] "OK!"
    Gulati is demolished in 4 moves... and is very upset through-out the rest of the journey. On landing he meets his friend Manpreet Singh.
    Gulati: Hey! U know what! I played Chess with Gary Kasparov and he defeated me in spite of him playing left-handed...
    Manpreet: Oye ullu-de pathey! He sure did fool you! U know what! Gary IS LEFT-HANDED!!

    One of the regular foursome was sick, so a new member named George filled in. He was very good and pleasant company so they asked him to join them again the following Sunday. "9.30 okay?"George said, "Fine, but I may be about ten minutes late. Wait for me."The following Sunday George showed up right on time. Not only that he played left-handed and beat them.They agreed to meet the following Sunday at 9.30. George again said, "Okay, but I may be about ten minutes late. Wait for me."The next Sunday there was George, punctual to the dot. This time he played right-handed and beat them again. "Okay, for 9.30 next Sunday?" one of the foursome asked.George said, "Sure if I'm ten minutes late?"Another golfer jumped in. "Wait a minute? You always say you may be ten minutes late. But you're always right on time and you beat us whether you play right or left handed."George said, "Well, that's true - I'm superstitious. If I wake up more...

    1. Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed.
    2. All Polar Bears are left-handed.
    3. If your car is stolen, there's a 10 percent chance it was taken by a Polar Bear.
    1. 39 percent of unemployed men wear spectacles.
    2. 80 percent of employed men wear spectacles.
    3. Work stuffs up your eyesight.
    1. A total of 4000 cans are opened around the world every second.
    2. Ten babies are conceived around the world every second.
    3. Each time you open a can, you stand a 1 in 400 chance of becoming pregnant.

    One of the regular foursome was sick, so a new member named George filled in. He was very good and pleasant company so they asked him to join them again the following Sunday. "9.30 okay?"
    George said, "Fine, but I may be about ten minutes late. Wait for me."
    The following Sunday George showed up right on time. Not only that he played left-handed and beat them.
    They agreed to meet the following Sunday at 9.30. George again said, "Okay, but I may be about ten minutes late. Wait for me."
    The next Sunday there was George, punctual to the dot. This time he played right-handed and beat them again. "Okay, for 9.30 next Sunday?" one of the foursome asked.
    George said, "Sure if I'm ten minutes late…"
    Another golfer jumped in. "Wait a minute… You always say you may be ten minutes late. But you're always right on time and you beat us whether you play right or left handed."
    George said, "Well, that's more...

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