"Stopped By Immigration" joke

A Filipino guy gets stopped by immigration at the airport. Immigration tells him, "Use the words' chicken not bread' in a sentence." The Filipino looks around, puts a bag over a woman's head and yells, "Chee kennot bred! Chee kennot bred!" (accent on "she cannot breathe")


An arctic explorer^
An arctic explorer came face to face with a polar bear. Afraid of being eaten, he fell to his knees and started praying. When the polar bear knelt down beside him and started praying too, the man shouted, "It's a miracle!" The polar bear opened one eye and said "Don't talk while I'm saying grace."

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