Poked Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A Lesson in Church

    Hot 7 years ago

    A man and his wife were sitting in church, the man was sleeping and his wife was knitting. The priest asked "Who created the Earth and man?" The woman poked the man with her knitting needle and the man screamed, "GOD!" The Priest looked at him and said, "That's right." Then he asked "Who is God's son?" Once more the woman poked her husband with the needle, he woke up and screamed, "Jesus Christ!" Again, the priest said, "Correct." Finally, the priest asked, "What did Eve say to Adam when she didn't want any more children?" The knitter poked her husband again, but this time he screamed "Poke me with that thing one more time and I'm going to rip it off!" The priest smiled and said, "That's right."

    Sunday School Class

    Hot 8 years ago

    Not being the best student in Sunday School, Patty usually slept her way through it. One Sunday the teacher decided to call on her, "Patty, tell me who invented the universe."
    Patty didn't stir, so little Johnny grabbed a pin, leaned forward and poked her in the ear. "God Almighty!" yelled Patty. "Very good," said the teacher, while Patty fell back alseep.
    After a few minutes the teacher again asked Patty a question. "Patty, who is our Lord and Savior?"
    As usual Patty didn't stir, so again Johnny poked her in the ear with the pin. "Jesus Christ!" Patty shouted. "Very good," said the teacher, as Patty fell back to sleep yet again.
    The teacher then asked Patty a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty third child?" One more time, Johnny stabbed Patty with the pin.
    Patty jumped up and screamed, "If you dare stick that damn thing in me again, I'm going to break it in more...

    2 children were sitting in sunday school and listening to the teacher the girl fell asleep and the boy un-bent a paperclip the teacher asked "Who created the Earth?" then the little boy poked the sleeping girl with the paper clip and the girl shouted "OH MY GOD!!!" and fell back asleep. and the teacher said "That is correct!" Then a little while later the teacher asked "Who died for all our sins?" and the little boy poked the sleeping girl again and she screamed "JESUS CHRIST!!!" then she fell back asleep and the teacher said "Thats correct" then a little while later the teacher asked "After Adam and Eve had their 23rd child what did Eve say to Adam?" then the boy poked the sleeping girl and she shouted "If you poke that in me one more time im going to brake it in half!!!" and the teacher said "Thats correct!!!"

    Jon and Adam are in a mental institution. This place has an annual contest, where they pick two of the best patients and give them two questions. If they get them correct, they are deemed cured and are free to go.
    Jon is called into the doctor's office first and asked if he understands that he would be free if he answers the questions correctly. The doctor says, "Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?"
    Jon answers, "I'd be half blind, doc."
    "That's correct. What if I poked out both of your eyes?"
    "I'd be completely blind." The doctor got up, shook his hand and told him he was free.
    On Jon's way out, while the doctor is filling out the paperwork, Jon mentions the exam to Adam. He tells him what questions are going to be asked, and also the answers. Adam is called in. The doctor goes through the formalities and asks, "What would happen if I cut off one of your ears?"
    Adam, remembering what Jon more...

    Jon and Dan were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest, picking two of the best patients and giving them two questions. If they answered correctly, they were deemed cured and free to go. Jon was called into the doctor's office first and asked if he understood that he'd be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, "Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?" Jon said, "I'd be half blind." "That's correct. What would happen if I poked out both your eyes?" "I'd be completely blind." The doctor stood up, shook his hand, and told him he was free. On Jon's way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the questions to Dan. He told him what questions would be asked and the answers. Dan was called in. The doctor went through the formalities and asked, "What would happen if I cut off one of your ears?" Dan, remembering what Jon had said, said, "I'd be half blind." more...

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