Penguin Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks? A: Because they haven´t got any pockets.

A man was driving down the highway with a car full of penguins. Penguins sticking out the windows, penguins coming out the sunroof, penguin everywhere. A cop pulled him over and told him if he didn't want a ticket he'd better take those penguins straight to the zoo. The man promised he
would and drove off. The next day, the same highway, the same car, the same guy, the same cop and the same penguins - only this time the penguins were all wearing sunglasses! The cop pulled the guy over and said, "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!" "I did" said the guy, "Today I'm taking them to the beach!"

So, this penguin goes into a bar and says to the barman "have you seen my brother?"... and the barman says "I don't know, what does he look like?" (ba-dum-tish)

So, this penguin goes into a bar and says to the barman "have you seen my brother?"...
and the barman says "I don't know, what does he look like?" (ba-dum-tish)

A penguin is driving down the road when his car starts to give him all kinds of trouble... the engine sputters, steam pours out of his hood and there's fluids pouring out on the road. He pulls into a garage and the mechanic tells him it'll be at least a half-hour until he can even tell him what the problem is.
The penguin walks around, has a cup of coffee and then comes across an ice cream shop, where he orders a double vanilla cone, getting it all over his face. He goes back to the garage and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem.
The mechanic looks up and tells him "Looks like you've blown a seal."
The penguin sez "No! Really, I just had an ice cream cone!"

A penguin is driving across the desert when the air conditioning goes out in his car. He rolls the windows down and keeps going until he comes to a service center along the highway. The penguin goes in and begs the mechanic to fix the air conditioning in the car before he dies from the heat. The penguin goes into the convenience store attached to the service center and spies an ice cream cooler in the back of the store. He immediately goes back, walks right into the cooler and closes the door behind him. An hour later he comes out with vanilla ice cream melting on his face and chest. The penguin leaves a twenty on the counter and returns to the service center to check on his car. As he approaches his car he asks the mechanic how things are going. "Well," says the mechanic, "It looks like you blew a seal." The penguin replies, "Oh no, that's just ice cream."

A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he noticesthat the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stopsat the first gas station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets abig dish of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says, "It looks like you blew a seal." "No, no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."