Agree Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso.

    A man visits his doctor. "I think I have a problem, doc," said the patient. "One of my testicles has turned blue."
    The doctor examined the man briefly and concluded the patient would die if they didn't have his testicle removed.
    "Are you crazy?!" exclaimed the patient, "How could I let you do such a thing to me?"
    "Do you want to die?", asked the doctor rhetorically, and the patient had to agree to have his testicle removed. But two weeks after the operation, he came back.
    "Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other testicle has turned blue too."
    Again, the doctor told him that if he wants to live, his other testicle must be cut off too. And again, the man was very reluctant.
    "Hey, do you want to die?", asked the doc, and the patient had to agree to the operation.
    But, about two weeks after he is testicleless, he returned to the doctor. "I think something is very wrong with me. more...

    A Scotsman, American, and an Irishman are in a bar.
    They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.
    Then the Scotsman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Glasgow, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"
    The others agree that sounds like a good place.
    Then the American says, "Yeah, that's a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there's this place, Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Vinny buys you another drink."
    Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar.
    Then the Irishman says, "You think that's great? Where I come from in Dublin, there's this place called Murphy's. At Murphy's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get more...

    An Irishman, an Italian, and a Polish guy are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.
    Then the Irishman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Dublin, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"
    The others agree that sounds like a nice place.
    Then the Italian says, "Yeah, that's a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there's this place, Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy anudda drink, Vinny buys you anudda drink."
    Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar.
    Then the Polish guy says, "You think that's great? Where I come from, there's this place called Warshowski's. At Warshowski's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you more...

    An Irishman, an Italian, and a Polish guy are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.
    Then the Irishman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Dublin, there's a better one. At McDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and McDougal himself will buy your third drink!" The others agree that sounds like a nice place.
    Then the Italian says, "Yeah, that's a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there's this place, Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy anudda drink, Vinny buys you anudda drink."
    Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar.
    Then the Polish guy says, "You think that's great? Where I come from, there's this place called Warshowski's. At Warshowski's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you more...

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