Password Jokes

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    Computer password

    Hot 1 month ago

    A woman was helping her husband set up his computer,
    and at the appropriate point in the process, told him
    that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on.
    The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured
    he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his
    wife's attention.
    So, when the computer asked him to enter his
    password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that
    he was keying in
    "penis"
    His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer
    replied:
    PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH

    This is about a guy who revealed himself as the biggest stupidass on a major international game site. His nickname was PolleZZ. At some point some other players took the nickname Webmaster and sent him a message, saying that there was a system update going on and that in order to keep his game statistics and player history intact, he had to reply stating his userid and password. The dork immediately did so, giving away his password (it was 1234512345). They used it then to spy on his games (making him lose all his games) and to submit moronic messages on the message boards on his behalf. Only weeks later he discovered this (not by himself in fact), so he changed his password. But then, some time later again, at some point he told someone which was his favorite soccer team (the Belgian team Anderlecht) and this turned out to be his new password! So they got it again because he gave it away a second time! By the way, in real life PolleZZ has a fat ass (literally) (a friend of his told more...

    THOU SHALT NOT CALL TECH

    Hot 5 months ago

    THOU SHALT NOT CALL TECH SUPPORT. They don't want to talk to you, period. No matter how difficult you think your problem is, the person who picks up the phone doesn't give a sh*t. At all.THOU SHALT NOT CALL TECH SUPPORT. I can't stress this enough. The answer to your piddly-ass problem is probably on the web or in a manual. Are you illiterate? (If you're reading this, the answer is "probably.")THOU SHALT REBOOT THY COMPUTER. According to recent poll that I just made up, 75% of all calls to tech support are solved by restarting the computer. This is the simplest, easiest way to keep from breaking the first two Commandments. SO FREAKING REBOOT OR I'LL RIP OUT YOUR SPLEEN AND REPLACE IT WITH A FLAMING BAG OF EXCREMENT.THOU SHALT NOT FORGET THY PASSWORD. Do you know your name? Your address? Forgetting your password is like pooping your pants. Crash helmets will be distributed at the end of class, and we're breaking into your house to replace all your silverware with plastic more...

    CORPORATE DIRECTIVE NUMBER 88-570471In order to increase the security of all company computing facilities, and to avoid the possibility of unauthorized use of these facilities, new rules are being put into effect concerning the selection of passwords. All users of computing facilities are instructed to change their passwords to conform to these rules immediately. RULES FOR THE SELECTION OF PASSWORDS: 1. A password must be at least six characters long, and must not contain two occurrences of a character in a row, or a sequence of two or more characters from the alphabet in forward or reverse order. Example: HGQQXP is an invalid password. GFEDCB is an invalid password. 2. A password may not contain two or more letters in the same position as any previous password. Example: If a previous password was GKPWTZ, then NRPWHS would be invalid because PW occurs in the same position in both passwords. 3. A password may not contain the name of a month or an abbreviation for a month. Example: more...

    I was working in a wall street investment bank when someone from the information technology group came by our office asking us to enter our passwords in the new software system.

    My colleague Barry, with his usual rebellious attitude, entered the password "Penis."

    We all fell on the floor with laugher when the computer replied:

    *** PASSWORD REJECTED. TOO SHORT *****

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