"THOU SHALT NOT CALL TECH" joke

Hot 3 years ago

THOU SHALT NOT CALL TECH SUPPORT. They don't want to talk to you, period. No matter how difficult you think your problem is, the person who picks up the phone doesn't give a sh*t. At all.THOU SHALT NOT CALL TECH SUPPORT. I can't stress this enough. The answer to your piddly-ass problem is probably on the web or in a manual. Are you illiterate? (If you're reading this, the answer is "probably.")THOU SHALT REBOOT THY COMPUTER. According to recent poll that I just made up, 75% of all calls to tech support are solved by restarting the computer. This is the simplest, easiest way to keep from breaking the first two Commandments. SO FREAKING REBOOT OR I'LL RIP OUT YOUR SPLEEN AND REPLACE IT WITH A FLAMING BAG OF EXCREMENT.THOU SHALT NOT FORGET THY PASSWORD. Do you know your name? Your address? Forgetting your password is like pooping your pants. Crash helmets will be distributed at the end of class, and we're breaking into your house to replace all your silverware with plastic sporks.THOU SHALT SWALLOW THY PRIDE. There's nothing worse to a phone tech than someone who calls up and immediately says "I'm a network engineer, and..." or "I already did that." Let the tech do his/her job and shut up. You're not going to save any face by pretending you know more than they do. You already sacrificed that by calling in the first place.THOU SHALT DO WHAT THE TECH SAYS. Following instructions is a time-honored tradition since the early days of human civilization, and is no less important now. So quit jumping ahead.THOU SHALT NOT ASSUME THE TECH IS GOD. Tell the tech whatever is on your screen to the letter. They cannot see what you see. This isn't the Wizard of Oz you're calling.THOU SHALT NOT BE AN ASS. You may have already talked to 6 people before, and had all sorts of troubles, but you WILL NOT take this out on the tech. They are more than happy to hang up on your whiny ass.THOU SHALT NOT CALL BECAUSE OF HIGH PING TIMES IN SOME DAMN GAME. Hone

One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down.

The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke."

The Chemical Engineer more...

The computer user`s reboot poemDon`t you wish when life is bad
and things just don`t compute,
That all we really had to do
was stop and hit reboot?

Things would all turn out ok,
life could be so sweet
If we had those special keys
Ctrl, more...

Don't you wish when life is bad
and things just don't compute,
That all we really had to do
was stop and hit reboot?
Things would all turn out ok,
life could be so sweet
If we had those special keys
Ctrl, Alt, and Delete
Your boss is mad, your more...

Don't you wish when life is badand things just don't compute, That all we really had to dowas stop and hit reboot? Things would all turn out ok, life could be so sweetIf we had those special keysCtrl, Alt, and DeleteYour boss is mad, your bills not paid, your wife, well she's more...

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