Null Jokes / Recent Jokes

Rules that guys wished girls knew..........
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
if he can find the perfect present, again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and
monster trucks.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like
every other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not sport.
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
13. You have enough more...

User
(To the tune of Beck`s "Loser")

In the day of sysop nerds I was a flunkie
Jolt in my brains and body feeling chunky
With the plastic mouse balls spray paint the Commodore
System install with the hard drive on the floor

Kill the process and put it in /dev/null
Email flaming with the user hitting D-control
Shell`s called Reno and it`s written in C
Got a couple of xterms, keys set to repeat

Root came sayin` I`m insane to complain
About an online wedding and a stain on my screen
Don`t believe everything that you make(1)
You get a cracker from Europe and a login that`s fake

So write your code in Perl in the dark
Saving all your hacks for working at a tech park
Yo - punch it

So - dumping core
I`m a user, baby, so why don`t you kill(1) me?
(Double dense floppy)
So - dumping core
I`m a user, baby, so why don`t you kill(1) me?

Forces more...