Birthdays Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

    Birthdays only come once a year...aren't you glad you're not a birthday?

    Because I had forgotten the dates for a number of my friends' and relatives' birthdays and anniversaries, I decided to compile a list on the computer and have the dates highlighted on screen when the machine was turned on. I went to a number of computer stores to find a software program that would do the job but had no luck at the first few. I finally found one where the clerk seemed experienced.
    "Can you recommend something that will remind me of birthdays and anniversaries?" I asked.
    "Have you tried WIFE?" he replied.

    It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Statistics show that those people who celebrate the most birthdays become the oldest. - S. den Hartog, Ph D. Thesis Universtity of Groningen.

    That's right, in just six trimesters, you, too, can be a real man - as
    well as earn an MA degree (Male Arts).
    Please take a moment to look over the program outline.
    FIRST YEAR
    Autumn Schedule:
    MEN 101 Combating Stupidity
    MEN 102 You, Too, Can Do Housework
    MEN 103 PMS-Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
    MEN 104 We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas
    Winter Schedule:
    MEN 110 Wonderful Laundry Techniques
    MEN 111 Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4 a.m.
    MEN 112 Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception
    EAT 100 Get a Life, Learn to Cook
    EAT 101 Get a Life, Learn to Cook II
    ECON 001A What's Hers is Hers
    Spring Schedule:
    MEN 120 How NOT to Act Like a Buttface When You're Wrong
    MEN 121 Understanding Your Incompetence
    MEN 122 YOU: the Weaker Sex
    ECON 001B What Was Yours is Hers
    SECOND YEAR
    Autumn Schedule:
    SEX 101 You CAN Fall Asleep without It
    SEX 102 Morning Dilemma: If more...

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