Nerdy Jokes

Your so ugly and nerdy that whenever you get your ass kicked and wind up on the floor, even it rejects you!

This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops to eat at diner. As he approaches the door, he sees a big sign on the door saying,
"NERDS NOT ALLOWED - ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!" He goes on in and sits down. The waiter comes over to him, sniffs, and says, "You smell kind of nerdy. What do you do for a living?" The truck driver says he drives a truck, and that the smell is just from the computers he's hauling. The waiter says, "OK, truck drivers aren't nerds," and takes his order.As he is eating, a skinny guy walks in with tape on his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long. The waiter, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the nerdy guy away. Stunned, the truck driver asks him why he did that.The waiter said, "Not to worry. The nerds are overpopulating the Silicon Valley, and are in season now. "You don't even need a license," he said.So the more...

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
3. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
4. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.
5. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
6. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
7. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.
8. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually more...

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
3. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.
4. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
5. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
6. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.
7. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
8. All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear in more...

Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.
Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald."
Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.
If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a more...