Nation Jokes / Recent Jokes

Man`s Best Friend
"Let me give you a little serious political advice. One single word. Puppies. Worth the points." -George Bush Sr., in 1990
"If the terriers and bariffs are torn down, this economy will grow." -George W. Bush, in Jan. 2000
Political Savvy
"It`s no exaggeration to say the undecideds could go one way or another." -George Bush Sr., in 1988
"Listen, Al Gore is a very tough opponent. He is the incumbent. He represents the incumbency. And a challenger is somebody who generally comes from the pack and wins, if you`re going to win. And that`s where I`m coming from." -George W. Bush, in Sept. 2000
Freudian Slips
"For seven and a half years I`ve worked alongside President Reagan. We`ve had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We`ve had some sex... uh... setbacks." -George Bush Sr., in 1988
"It was just inebriating what Midland was all about then." -George W. Bush, reflecting in 1994 more...

"Do you have blacks, too?" -George W. Bush, to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Nov. 8, 2001, as reported in an April 28, 2002, Estado Sao Pauloan column by Fernando Pedreira, a close friend of President Cardoso "I`d rather have them sacrificing on behalf of our nation than, you know, endless hours of testimony on congressional hill." -George W. Bush, Fort Meade, Maryland, June 4, 2002 "We hold dear what our Declaration of Independence says, that all have got uninalienable rights, endowed by a Creator." -George W. Bush, to community and religious leaders in Moscow, May 24, 2002 "We`re working with Chancellor Schröder on what`s called 10-plus-10-over-10: $10 billion from the U. S.,$10 billion from other members of the G7 over a 10-year period, to help Russia securitize the dismantling - the dismantled nuclear warheads." -George W. Bush, Berlin, Germany, May 23, 2002 "After all, a week ago, there were - Yasser Arafat was boarded up in more...

One of the nation's largest soup manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America's shelves this week with their newest Soup creation, "Clinton Soup", that will honor one of the nation's most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a small weenie in hot water! Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will begin production in Canada this year. When Clinton was asked what he thought about foreign affairs, he replied: "I don't know, I never had one." If you came across Bill Clinton struggling in a raging river and you had a choice between rescuing him or getting a Pulitzer Prize-winning photograph, what shutter speed would you use? Chelsea asked her dad, "Do all fairy tales begin with once upon a time?" Bill Clinton replied, "No, some begin with' After I'm elected'." Clinton's mother prayed fervently that Bill would grow up and be president. So far, half of her prayer has been more...

The UN sponsored a competition on which nation can produce the best book on elephants.
The British submited a dry historical account "The Elephant and the British Empire."
The French submited a text "The Sensuality of the Elephant - a Personal Account."
The Germans submited 47 Volumes entitled "An Elementary Introduction to the Foundation of the Science of the Elephant's Ear."
The Americans submited an article from "Money" magazine: "Elephants - the Perfect Tax Shelter for the 80s"
Green-Peace submited a counter-entry "Elephants - they're better than People"
The Russians submited a terse manuscript titled "The superiority of the Soviet Elephant"
And submited a poem "The Joy and Freedom Brought forth by the Soviet Elephant."
But the Japanese won with their Promotional Flier "We have no Elephants but wouldn't you want to buy a Honda instead"

And when your nation starts to fall, well Frenchie, you can spare us, just call the Germans for a hand, they know the way to Paris.

170
The Cape of Good Hope is located in South Africa
171
Heathrow Airport is located in London
172
The neon lamp was invented by Georges Claude
173
The last letter of the Greek alphabet is Omega
174
The place known as the land of Lincoln is Illinois
175
The US state Utah is also known as the Beehive state
176
The Kalahari desert is located in Africa
177
The Pentagonian desert is located in Argentina
178
The person known as the father of aeronautics is Sir George Cayley
179
The most densely populated Island in the world is Honshu
180
The two nations Haiti and the Dominion Republic together form the Island of Hispaniola
181
The largest auto producer in the USA is General Motors
182
The largest auto producing nation is Japan
183
The famous General Motors company was founded by William Durant
184
The country that brings out the FIAT is Italy
185
The first actor to more...

The Indian and Cuban labour ministers were in the midst of a meeting.

Cuban labour minister:' Labour problems in our nation produce hundreds of types of tensions for me.'

Indian labour minister:' That's nothing. Labour problems in our nation produce 50, 000 babies every day.'