Moderate Jokes

Ayatollah Khamenei, Iran's Supreme Leader, is considered "moderate" in comparison to President Ahmadinejad, which means he believes in beheading and stoning, but also recycling.

Memo from Director General to Manager:
Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the car park. Staff should meet in the car park at ten to eleven, when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse, and giving some background information. Safety goggles will be made available at a small cost.
Memo from Manager to Department Head:
Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will disappear for two minutes. For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with goggles. The Director General will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some background information. This is not something that can be seen every day.
Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager:
The Director General will today more...

In the US, if you have alcohol that you're not going to drink and sell it to a friend just to get rid of it, that is a punishable crime by law for selling alcohol without a license.

In some countries, the punishment for driving under the influence (DUI) is death, but in Uraguay drinking and driving is a legal excuse for having an accident while driving.

People who drink alcohol in moderation tend to be healthier and live longer than those who either abstain or abuse alcohol.

If you don't drink alcohol, you raise the risk of heart disease, but many of the health benefits of alcohol are lost if you don't drink it regularly.

Only 30% of Americans believe that moderate drinking is part of a healthy lifestyle and balance life, even though they know medical reports show otherwise.

Contrary to common misperception, alcohol does not destroy brain cells. In fact, the moderate consumption of alcohol is often associated with improved more...