Disappear Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    During the Six Day War, this division of Arabs is making its way across the burning desert sands towards Israel, when the Arab commander, bouncing along in his jeep, spots an aged Israeli on top a distant sand dune. The commander drops his binoculars and shouts orders to a foot soldier to run up ahead and kill the infidel Israeli. The soldier sprints ahead of theadvancing troops, and soon disappears over the sand dune. The general stops the troops and waits to see what happens. Nothing happens. The commander sends a whole platoon of soldiers to investigate. All twelve Arabs disappear over the sand dune, never to be seen again. The now-slightly-anxious commander dispatches 3 tanks to find out just what in the heck is going on, and they disappear over the dune, too. Sweat pours down the commander's forehead as he orders his entiredivision to overrun the solitary Israeli behind the sand dune. But just then, the first soldier reappears on the distant sand dune and cups his hands to his more...

    How do you make one disappear?
    Add the letter g, to make it GONE!

    During the Six Day War, this division of Arabs is making its way across
    the burning desert sands towards Israel, when the Arab commander, bouncing
    along in his jeep, spots an aged Israeli on top a distant sand dune. The
    commander drops his binoculars and shouts orders to a foot soldier to run
    up ahead and kill the infidel Israeli. The soldier sprints ahead of the
    advancing troops, and soon disappears over the sand dune. The general
    stops the troops and waits to see what happens.
    Nothing happens. The commander sends a whole platoon of soldiers to
    investigate. All twelve Arabs disappear over the sand dune, never to be
    seen again. The now-slightly-anxious commander dispatches 3 tanks to find
    out just what in the heck is going on, and they disappear over the dune,
    too. Sweat pours down the commander's forehead as he orders his entire
    division to overrun the solitary Israeli behind the sand dune.
    But just then, the first more...

    CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
    Jewish women are marrying for love.
    Even people who have nothing to do with the Obama administration aren't paying their taxes.
    Hotwheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
    Obama met with small businesses to discuss the Stimulus Package: GE, Pfizer and Citigroup.
    McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
    Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
    A truckload of Americans got caught sneaking into Mexico.
    The most highly-paid job is now jury duty.
    People in Africa are donating money to Americans.
    Motel Six won't leave the light on.
    The Mafia is laying off judges.
    And finally...
    Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh great... the guy who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $750 billion disappear.

    Memo from Director General to Manager:
    Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the car park. Staff should meet in the car park at ten to eleven, when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse, and giving some background information. Safety goggles will be made available at a small cost.
    Memo from Manager to Department Head:
    Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will disappear for two minutes. For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with goggles. The Director General will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some background information. This is not something that can be seen every day.
    Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager:
    The Director General will today more...

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