Minnesota Jokes / Recent Jokes

Weird Sex Laws of the U. S. A law in Fairbanks, Alaska, does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.
In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
In Florida it is illegal for single, divorced, or widowed women to parachute on Sunday afternoons.
It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times
and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.
Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken to jail according to a Liberty Corner, New Jersey law.
In Nevada, sex without a condom is considered illegal.
Clinton, Oklahoma, has a law against masturbating while watching two people having sex in a car.
In Willowdale, more...

Sven and Olie died and went to Hell. After awhile, the Devil came by to see how his new guests were doing. To his amazement, he found Sven and Olie were still wearing their winter gear and seemed to be quite comfortable. The Devil asked why they weren't hot. Olie replied, "We come from Minnesota where it's always cold. This is feeling pretty good to us." This upset the Devil, so he turned up the thermostat. Awhile later the Devil looked in again on Sven and Olie. To his surprise he found they were still wearing their winter gear. The Devil questioned them on it again. "You have to remember that we are from Minnesota and it's very, very cold there. This is feeling nice to us." The Devil was even madder at this, so he turned the thermostat all the way up to maximum temperature. The Devil waited some time and then went back to Sven and Olie. This time he found they had only unzipped their coats, but still had all their winter clothes on. The Devil couldn't understand more...

SenatorAl Franken refused to let Joe Lieberman finish the last few minutes ofhis Senate speech yesterday. That's ok; but I just wish he'd done thesame to the last lame 30 minutes of all those Saturday Night Live episodes when he was on the show!

Today Al Franken cut off Joe Leiberman's speech by whacking him with a snow shovel.

Sven and Ole are visiting a relative in Texas. While walking along the street, they see a sign on a store front which reads:
Suits $5.00 each
Shirts $2.00 each
Trousers $2.50 per pair
Sven says to his pal, "Hey Ole! We could buy a whole lot of dem and ven ve get back to Minnesota, ve could sell them and make a fortune."
"Now ven ve go into the shop, yust let me do all da talkin' cause if dey hear your Minnesota accent dey might tink ve are dumb Norwegians and try ta raise da price. But, I can speak with a perfect Texas drawl."
They go in, and Sven drawls out an order of 50 suits at $5.00 each, 100 shirts at $2.00 each and 50 pair of trousers at $2.50 each.
The owner of the shop says "You're Norwegians from Minnesota, aren't you?"
"Uff Da!" Says a surprised Sven. "How'd you know dat?"
The owner says, "Because this is a dry-cleaners."

Cats in International Falls, Minnesota, are not allowed to chase dogs up telephone poles.
If your dog gets your neighbor's dog pregnant in Danbury, Connecticut, you are responsible and must pay for the abortion if the neighbor chooses to have it done.
No dog may be tied to a shade tree in Birmingham, Alabama.
An ordinance in Belvedere, California, states "No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash."
Another misworded ordinance is this one from Arvada, Colorado: "If a stray pet is not claimed within 24 hours, the owner will be destroyed."
Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited by statute in Barber, North Carolina.
In Sterling, Colorado, it is unlawful to allow a pet cat to run loose without a taillight.
In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
Cats living in Cresskill, New Jersey, must wear three bells to warn birds of their whereabouts.
A more...

For Valentine’s day, a farmer in Minnesota made a giantmanure heart in a field for his wife. It didn’t smell great, but it tastedbetter than the store brand chocolates at Rite-Aid.