Mining Jokes / Recent Jokes

(I got this one from my next door neighbor, who got it from his brother...)
Desperate for work, Paul decides to accept a job offer mining deep in
Alaska. After a long journey he arrives at the mining camp, 200 miles
from civilization. The camp is small, with only a handful of miners.
He promptly meets up with the manager, and asks what his duties are.
"Firstly, you work six days of the week, every day except Saturday. Your
primary duty is to help clear out the rubble, and dump it into the rock
quarry down the road. The work isn't easy, but you will get used to it.
Also, you are on KP duty on Friday nights."
Morning comes, and Paul goes to work. The work is hard, but he is strong
enough that it isn't a real problem.
However, by the time Thursday comes around, Paul is feeling kind of lonely.
With the nearest women 200 miles away, he can't imagine how the other miners
endure from day to day. So, he approaches the more...

In the wake of the Exxon/Mobil deal and the AOL/Netscape deal, here are the latest mergers we can expect to see:
Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush and W.R. Grace Company merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become Polly-Warner-Cracker.
3M and Goodyear merge to become MMMGood.
John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become Deere Abi.
Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco and Dakota Mining merge to become Zip Audi Do Da.
Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become Honey I'm Home.
Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become MineAll Mine.
Federal Express and UPS merge to become FED UP.
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge and begin manufacturing reproductive organs.
Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge and become Fairwell Honeychild.
3M, J.C. Penney and the Canadian Opera Company will merge and become 3 Penney more...

Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organs
Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: New company will be called Fairwell Honeychild
Polygram records, Warner Brothers and Keebler: new company will be called Poly Warner Cracker
W.R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics and Hale Business Systems: New company will be called Hale Mary Fuller Grace
3M and Goodyear: New company will be called mmmGood
John Deere and Abitibi-Price: new company will be called Deere Abi
Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil: New company will be called Honey I'm Home
Denison Mines, Alliance and Metal Mining: New company will be called Mine, All Mine
3M, J.C. Penney and Canadian Opera Company: New company will be called 3 Penney Opera
Grey Poupon and Dockers Pants: New company will be called Poupon Pants
Knott's Berry Farm and National organization of Women: New company will be called Knott NOW!
Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, and Dakota more...

Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organsFairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: New company will be called Fairwell HoneychildPolygram records, Warner Brothers and Keebler: new company will be called Poly Warner CrackerW.R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics and Hale Business Systems: New company will be called Hale Mary Fuller Grace3M and Goodyear: New company will be called mmmGoodJohn Deere and Abitibi-Price: new company will be called Deere AbiHoneywell, Imasco, and Home Oil: New company will be called Honey I'm HomeDenison Mines, Alliance and Metal Mining: New company will be called Mine, All Mine3M, J.C. Penney and Canadian Opera Company: New company will be called 3 Penney OperaGrey Poupon and Dockers Pants: New company will be called Poupon PantsKnott's Berry Farm and National organization of Women: New company will be called Knott NOW! Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining: New compant will be called Zip Audi Do-Da

Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organsFairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: New company will be called Fairwell HoneychildPolygram records, Warner Brothers and Keebler: new company will be called Poly Warner CrackerW. R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics and Hale Business Systems: New company will be called Hale Mary Fuller Grace3M and Goodyear: New company will be called mmmGoodJohn Deere and Abitibi-Price: new company will be called Deere AbiHoneywell, Imasco, and Home Oil: New company will be called Honey I'm HomeDenison Mines, Alliance and Metal Mining: New company will be called Mine, All Mine3M, J. C. Penney and Canadian Opera Company: New company will be called 3 Penney OperaGrey Poupon and Dockers Pants: New company will be called Poupon PantsKnott's Berry Farm and National organization of Women: New company will be called Knott NOW! Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining: New compant will be called Zip Audi Do-Da