Memphis Jokes / Recent Jokes

Tennessee The Educashun State
Dumb Tennessee Laws
You can`t shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile.
Hollow logs may not be sold.
Any person crippling, killing or in any way destroying a proud female dog that is running at large shall not be held liable for the damages due to such killing or destruction.
More than 8 women may not live in the same house because that would constitute a brothel.
It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
Crimes against nature" are prohibited.
Stealing a horse is punishible by hanging.
Driving is not to be done while asleep.
The age of consent is 16, but 12 if the girl is a virgin.
It is legal to gather and consume roadkill.
Dyersburg
It is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date.
Fayette County
You may not have more than five inoperable vehicles on a piece of property.
Lenoir City
When you pull up to a stop sign you must fire a gun out the more...

You can't shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile. It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish. Driving is not to be done while asleep. It is legal to gather and consume road kill The age of consent is 16, but 12 if the girl is a virgin.Hollow logs may not be sold. More than 8 women may not live in the same house because that would constitute a brothel. Stealing a horse is punishable by hanging. Dyersburg: It is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date. Fayette County: You may not have more than five inoperable vehicles on a piece of property. Lenoir City: When you pull up to a stop sign you must fire a gun out the window to warn horse carriages that you are coming. Lexington: No one may eat ice cream on the sidewalk. Lexington: Spitting on the sidewalk is prohibited. Knoxville: In front of their buildings, all businesses must have a "hitching post." Memphis: Illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of more...

A farmer and his pig were driving down the road when a cop pulled him over. The cop asked the farmer, "Didnt you know it is against the law to ride with a pig in the front of you truck?"The farmer replied, "No, I didnt knowed that."The cop ask the farmer where he was going and he said, "To Memphis". The cop said, "I will let you off the hook this time if you promise to take the pig to the zoo when you get to Memphis."So the farmer promised he would. Several days later the cop spotted the farmer with the pig driving down the road and he pulled him over again. The cop said "I thought I told you to take this pig to the zoo when you got to Memphis" and to this the farmer replied "I did and we had so much fun, Im taking him to the circus."

A farmer and his pig were driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked the farmer, "Didn't you know it is against the law to ride with a pig in the front of you truck?"
The farmer replied, "No, I didn't knowed that."
The cop ask the farmer where he was going and he said, "To Memphis". The cop said, "I will let you off the hook this time if you promise to take the pig to the zoo when you get to Memphis."
So the farmer promised he would.
Several days later the cop spotted the farmer with the pig driving down the road and he pulled him over again.
The cop said "I thought I told you to take this pig to the zoo when you got to Memphis" and to this the farmer replied "I did and we had so much fun, I'm taking him to the circus."

A farmer and his pig were driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.The cop asked the farmer, "Didn't you know it is against the law to ride with a pig in the front of you truck?"The farmer replied, "No, I didn't knowed that."The cop ask the farmer where he was going and he said, "To Memphis". The cop said, "I will let you off the hook this time if you promise to take the pig to the zoo when you get to Memphis."So the farmer promised he would.Several days later the cop spotted the farmer with the pig driving down the road and he pulled him over again.The cop said "I thought I told you to take this pig to the zoo when you got to Memphis" and to this the farmer replied "I did and we had so much fun, I'm taking him to the circus."

A farmer and his pig were driving down the road when a cop pulled him over. The cop asked the farmer, "Didn't you know it is against the law to ride with a pig in the front of you truck?"The farmer replied, "No, I didn't knowed that."The cop ask the farmer where he was going and he said, "To Memphis". The cop said, "I will let you off the hook this time if you promise to take the pig to the zoo when you get to Memphis."So the farmer promised he would. Several days later the cop spotted the farmer with the pig driving down the road and he pulled him over again. The cop said "I thought I told you to take this pig to the zoo when you got to Memphis" and to this the farmer replied "I did and we had so much fun, I'm taking him to the circus."

GLN (Good-Looking Nerd): "Can I help you?"
MHP (Mississippi Highway Patrolman): "Do you know how fast you were
going, boy?"
GLN: "I'm not sure. The needle doesn't reach the high numbers very well.
I would estimate somewhere between 80 and 85, closer to 85."
MHP: "You were going 84 miles an hour."
GLN: "See, I was close. I must've been going uphill."
MHP: "What was that?"
GLN: "Oh, nothing. Is there some reason you pulled me over?"
MHP: "I'm going to have to give you a ticket, boy."
GLN: "No thank you."
MHP: "What was that?"
GLN: "If it's all the same to you, I'd just as soon you keep your
ticket. I don't really have any use for one."
MHP: "Don't try to weasel your way out of this, boy. I'm going to
give you a ticket."
GLN: "What for?"
MHP: "WHAT FOR??? Speeding, that's more...