Why did the pig have ink all over his face? Because it came out of the pen.
SOW: Would you like a nice cake with three candles for your party? PIGLET: I'd rather have three cakes and one candle.
Moon MissionNASA is launching a rocket to the moon. On board there are two pigs and Kiki, a stunning blonde. When the rocket is outside the stratosphere, the first stage drops off. Contact is made: "Houston here, Pig 1, Pig 1, do you read us? Over." "Oink, oink, here Pig 1, read you loud and clear." "Pig 1, do you still know your instructions?" "Yes, when we get to the moon, I press the red button to initiate the moon landing. Over." "That's right. Over and out." They go on until the rocket separates its booster stage." Hello, Pig 2? Come in please." "Oink, oink, here Pig 2, read you loud and clear." "OK, Pig 2 do you remember your instructions?" "Yes, when we've landed on the moon and are ready to leave, I press on the green button to initiate the launch program." "That's right, Pig 2. Over and out." An hour later, when the rocket has achieved the correct speed the last stage drops off more...
FARMER: Who raided my vegetable patch? PIGLET: Beets me!
FIRST PIGLET: How do you know your boyfriend loves you? SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.