Zoo Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Nan in the...

    Hot 2 weeks agoby Funny gal

    'go back to africa, go back to india!'
    'Nan shut up were at the zoo.'

    Brave Haryanvi

    Hot 1 year ago

    VERY brave Haryanvi who feared nothing was employed as a keeper of lions in a zoo. The lions held him in awe and respect. The only one the Haryanvi feared was his quarrelsome wife. If he was late returning home from the local theka, she gave him hell.

    One evening he was. later than usual and rather than face his irate wife decided to spend the night with the lions. The wife looked for him everywhere she thought he might be. Finally she went to the zoo and found him fast asleep resting his head on the belly of the biggest lion.

    "You bloody coward!" She screamed, " Vaisey to bahut bahadur bantaisai; ajdeykh lee teyree bahaduri" (You make yourself out to be such a brave man; today I've seen what a coward you can be.)

    The zoo is a place for animals to study the behaviour of human beings.

    The Crist family worked at a zoo. Each year they predicted the general luck and overall mood of the year by watching the the gnu. If the gnu's ears were forward, that meant a successful, joyous year was almost certain to happen. But if his ears were laid back flat against his head, it meant that an unlucky or very unhappy year was sure to come. One year it was young Mary's turn to "survey" the animal and come up with the prediction. It was her first time solo, and in her excitement, she forgot to take the key to the cage. She was late in coming to check on the gnu. Well, she saw the wrong ear position and predicted a bad year, when in fact it was quite good. To explain the error, the local newspaper ran the following headline a year later: MARY CRIST MISSES AN HAPPY GNU'S EAR!

    Hey, this joke is a reality of life in the UAE.
    In the poor zoo of Africa, a lion was so much frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day.
    The lion thought it's prayers were answered, when one of UAE Zoo Manager visits the zoo and requests the zoo management to shift the lion to the UAE Zoo.
    The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/C environment, a goat or two every day and a UAE residence permit also.
    On it's first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast.
    The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few peanuts.
    Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from Africa.
    The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of peanuts was delivered.
    The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him, "Don't you know I more...

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