Zoo Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    'go back to africa, go back to india!'
    'Nan shut up were at the zoo.'

    Gorilla Language

    Hot 2 months ago

    A guy was standing in front of the gorilla cage at the zoo one day, when a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless. When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that pulling down your eyelid means "screw you" in gorilla language. The explanation didn't make the victim feel any better - and he vowed revenge. The next day, he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and went right up to the gorilla's cage where he opened up his bag of goodies. Knowing that gorillas were natural mimics, he put on a party hat. The gorilla looked at him, reached through the bars, grabbed a hat from the bag, and put it on. Next, the guy picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla reached out, picked up his horn, and did the same. Then the more...

    Brave Haryanvi

    Hot 3 years ago

    VERY brave Haryanvi who feared nothing was employed as a keeper of lions in a zoo. The lions held him in awe and respect. The only one the Haryanvi feared was his quarrelsome wife. If he was late returning home from the local theka, she gave him hell.

    One evening he was. later than usual and rather than face his irate wife decided to spend the night with the lions. The wife looked for him everywhere she thought he might be. Finally she went to the zoo and found him fast asleep resting his head on the belly of the biggest lion.

    "You bloody coward!" She screamed, " Vaisey to bahut bahadur bantaisai; ajdeykh lee teyree bahaduri" (You make yourself out to be such a brave man; today I've seen what a coward you can be.)

    The zoo is a place for animals to study the behaviour of human beings.

    The Crist family worked at a zoo. Each year they predicted the general luck and overall mood of the year by watching the the gnu. If the gnu's ears were forward, that meant a successful, joyous year was almost certain to happen. But if his ears were laid back flat against his head, it meant that an unlucky or very unhappy year was sure to come. One year it was young Mary's turn to "survey" the animal and come up with the prediction. It was her first time solo, and in her excitement, she forgot to take the key to the cage. She was late in coming to check on the gnu. Well, she saw the wrong ear position and predicted a bad year, when in fact it was quite good. To explain the error, the local newspaper ran the following headline a year later: MARY CRIST MISSES AN HAPPY GNU'S EAR!

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