Member Jokes / Recent Jokes

Adivasis of a district approached their Member of Parliament and said,' Our Pradhan Mantri has visited every part of the country but has never been to see us. You are our representative, you must get him to visit us here.'
The MP demurred. He was a member of the Opposition and was hardly expected to invite the Prime Minister. But the Adivasis insisted that he get the Pradhan Mantri somehow or the other. Then the wily MP thought of a way out:' You see, the Prime Minister likes to dress in the costumes of the people he visits. Most of you go naked. So even if he agrees to come here, what should I tell him about what he should wear?'

Supplemental Rules for Bowling

If you holler "overs!" before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the "overs".

When your team is about 10 marks down in the 8th or 9th frame, you can invoke the rule "First Team Through Bowling Wins the Game", and your team still has a chance.

After a member of the opposing team bowls 4 strikes in a row, he/she must bowl the next 4 frames blindfolded. If he/she continues to strike, his/her shoelaces will be tied together for 2 frames.

When you leave the 10-pin and you know you can't make the spare, but another member of your team can, invoke the "Designated Bowler" rule.

After you have 4 splits in one game, you may say "Kings X" and take those 4 frames over. However, if you split on the 2nd time around, you accept it. After all, "Fair is more...

Sometime in the 1970s a shipment of meat arrives in a town in the Soviet Union. The townspeople line up at the town store to wait to be given their rations. After about an hour, a man comes out of the store and announces, "Comrades, I'm sorry to tell you, but there isn't enough meat for everyone, so the Jews have to leave." The Jews in the line leave grumbling.
About an hour later, the man comes out of the store and announces, "Comrades, I'm sorry to tell you this, but there isn't enough meat for everyone, so anyone who is not a member of the Communist party will have to leave." More grumbling as the non-Party members depart.
Another hour goes by and the man comes out of the store again and announces, "Comrades, I'm sorry to tell you this, but there isn't enough meat for everyone in the line, so anyone who wasn't a member of the Party before 1956 has to leave." More grumbling as all the younger Party members leave. A few old people remain in the more...

A church had to hire a new pastor. Over the protests of one vocal male member a woman was hired as the new senior pastor. After the new pastor had been there a few weeks, a member of the congregation offered to take the new pastor fishing. The vocal objector reluctantly agreed to allow them to use his boat and to go along.
The trio got into the boat and motored out on the lake. When they got ready to fish, they realized that all their tackle had been left on the dock. One of the men commented that he guess they would just have to go back and get it.
The pastor said that wouldn't be necessary, and she got out of the boat and started walking across the water toward the dock.
The old grouch said, "See I told you we never should have hired that woman. She can't even swim."

The party of the first part (herein referred to as "she"), being of sound mind and pretty good body, agrees to the following with the party of the second part (herein referred to as "him"):
1. FULL DISCLOSURE: At the commencement of said relationship (colloquially referred to as the "first date"), each party agrees to fully disclose any current girl/boyfriends, dependent children, bizarre religious beliefs, phobias, fears, social diseases, strange political affiliations, or currently active relationships with anyone else that have not yet been terminated.
Further, each party agrees to make known any deep-seated complexes and/or fanatical obsessions with pets, careers, and/or organized sports. Failure to make these disclosures will result in the immediate termination of said relationship before it has a chance to get anywhere.
2. INDEMNIFICATION OF FRIENDS: Both parties agree to hold the person who arranged the liaison (colloquially referred more...

"Are you a member of any organized political party?" "No. Im a Republican."

It's just not right. Thousands of pilots in our very own country are living at or just below the six
figure salary line. And if that weren't bad enough, many of them may go several weeks or months
without a paycheck if they are forced by American Airlines management to strike. But now you can
help. For about three hundred dollars a day ~ that's less than the price of a 25" television set ~
you can help keep a pilot economically viable during their time of need.
Three hundred dollars a day may not seem like a lot of money to you, but to a pilot, it could mean
the difference between a vacation fishing in Florida or a Mediteranean cruise.
For you, three hundred dollars is nothing more than half a month's rent or mortgage payment. But to a
pilot, three hundred dollars a day will almost replace his or her salary.
Three hundred dollars a day will enable a pilot to upgrade his or her home computer, buy that new
100" television set, more...