Mrs. Ward goes to the doctor's office to collect her husband's test results.
The lab tech says to her, "I'm sorry, ma'am, but there has been a big mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent your husband's samples to the lab, the samples from another Mr. Ward were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly, it is either bad or terrible."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asked.
"Well, one has tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other for AIDS. We can't tell which is your husband."
"That's terrible! Can we do the test over?" questioned Mrs. Ward.
"Normally, yes.But Medicare won't pay for these expensive tests more than once."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."
Some Politicatl Quotes as collected in "They Said That!" by Larry Engelman
Like we say in Texas, if goofy ideas ever go to $40 a barrel, I want the drilling rights to Dick Armey's head.
Clinton advisor Paul Begala, 1998
If Jerry Brown is the answer, it must be a very peculiar question.
Sen. Lloyd Bentsen, 1992
This is Jerry Brown. Thanks for calling. And please do everything you can to assist and be an active member in the insurgent campaign to take back America. To speak to a live human being, dial zero.
-- Taped message on the Jerry Brown for President office phone in Santa Monica, Calif., 1992
She's not my type, let's put it that way. She wouldn't pass the test. Yes, the Bono test.
Sonny Bono, on Hillary Clinton, 1995
This year's elections are like a horse race. They end up exactly where they started. And when they're done, manure is everywhere.
Jay Leno, 1994
Many Americans more...
Candidate Bill Clinton: Cut taxes for middle class
President Bill Clinton: Wants to raise them
Candidate Bill Clinton: Vowed not to tamper with Social Security
President Bill Clinton: Wants to tax more SS benefits
Candidate Bill Clinton: Proposed energy tax cuts
President Bill Clinton: Wants energy tax increases
Candidate Bill Clinton: Claimed he had the ability to raise $45 billion by making foreign corporations pay their fair share of U. S. taxes
President Bill Clinton: Modified and lowered his figure to only $11 billion
Candidate Bill Clinton: Proposed Medicare payment cut of only $4. 4 billion and ran ads attacking Bush for recommending more cuts
President Bill Clinton: Wants at least $34 billion in Medicare cuts
Candidate Bill Clinton: Promised a guarenteed college education for anyone wanting one
President Bill Clinton: Proposing to spend $98 million--it will only cover 4, 800 students in the more...