Marvin Jokes

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    Hot 6 years ago

    Upon getting to work one morning, seventy-five year old Marvin is reminded by his secretary that it his wife's birthday today. At lunch, Marvin goes to the local mall and tries to find a gift for her.
    Unfortunately, he realises that life has been good and she has everything she needs. Upon passing a lingerie store, Marvin realises that his wife has never bought any lingerie in her life. He gets the idea to buy his wife something sexy to make her feel good and young.
    Marvin goes into the store and tells the clerk to wrap up the most expensive, sheerest negligee she has. Marvin takes the gift and excitedly runs home to his wife.
    Upon finding her in the kitchen he tells her to take the gift upstairs and unwrap it. He'll wait in the kitchen. His wife thanks him and goes up to the bedroom.
    Once the package is opened she realises that this is something she's never had before. She also sees that it is so sheer it leaves nothing to the imagination. She thinks for a moment more...

    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Marvin!
    Marvin who?
    Marvin I wonderful!

    One day at kindergarten a teacher said to the class of 5-year olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."
    An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St.Patrick."
    The teacher said, "Sorry Sean, that's not correct."
    Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew."
    The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either.
    Finally, a Jewish boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ."
    The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Marvin, come up here and I'll give you the $2."
    As the teacher was giving Marvin his money, she said, "You know Marvin, since you're Jewish, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ."
    Marvin replied, "Yeah. In my heart I knew it was Moses, but business is business!"

    One day at kindergarten a teacher said to the class of 5-year olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St.Patrick."The teacher said, "Sorry Sean, that's not correct."Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew."The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either.Finally, a Jewish boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ."The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Marvin, come up here and I'll give you the $2."As the teacher was giving Marvin his money, she said, "You know Marvin, since you're Jewish, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ."Marvin replied, "Yeah. In my heart I knew it was Moses, but business is business!"

    One day at kindergarten a teacher said to the class of 5-year- olds,
    "I'll give $2 to the child who can tell me who was the most
    famous man who ever lived."
    An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St.Patrick."
    The teacher said, "Sorry Sean, that's not correct."
    Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St.
    Andrew."
    The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right
    either."
    Finally, a Jewish boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus
    Christ."
    The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Marvin, come up here and I'll give you the $2."
    As the teacher was giving Marvin his money, she said, "You know Marvin, since you're Jewish, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ."
    Marvin replied, "Yeah. In my heart I knew it was Moses, but
    business is business..."

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