Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?" bar, drinking
Make a Sentence "Children were called upon in a classroom to make sentences with words chosen by the teacher. The teacher smiled when Jack raised his hand to participate. She gave him the words 'defeat,' 'deduct,' 'defense,' and 'detail.' Jack stood seriously for a while with all eyes focused on him awaiting his reply:
''Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail!''
A man who looked like a high-powered business executive began to drop in at Milton's Bar regularly, and his order was always the same: two Martinis. After several weeks of this, Milton asked him why he didn't order a double instead of always ordering two singles.
"It's a sentimental thing," the customer answered. "A very dear friend of mine died a few weeks ago, and before his death he asked that when I drink, I have one for him, too."
A week later, the customer came in and ordered only one Martini.
"How about your dead buddy?" Milton asked. "Why only one Martini today?"
"This is my buddy's drink," the man said as he gulped the Martini down. "I'm on the wagon."
These three strings go into a bar and order a martini. One string
notices a horse with a sign that says, "Make me laugh, make me cry, win
$1000" on it. Meanwhile, a bell starts ringing in the clock tower overhead,
and suddenly there is a loud thud as a body falls to the street in
front of the bar. "I'm a Frayed Knot!" screams one enraged string at
the bartender, and then disappears. Kant leaves via the back door. The
other string stands in front of the horse and pulls down his pants. It
isn't clear at this point why the horse is wearing pants.
The Inspector walks in the front door and says to no one in particular,
"I can't remember his name, but his face rings a bell." Several dozen
customers instinctively stab their F keys. The remaining string gulps
down the rest of his martini and says, "And at these prices, you're not
likely to see many more!"
At the table in the back, the Doctor looks more...
A business man enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a
double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks
inside his shirt pocket, then asks the bartender to prepare another
After he finishes the second one, he again peeks inside his shirt
pocket, and asks the bartender to bring another double martini.
The same pattern is repeated a few rounds; the business man drinks a
double martini on the rocks, peeks inside his shirt pocket, and orders
Finally, the bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring you martinis all
night long, no problem with that. But you just gotta tell me why you
look inside your shirt pocket every time before you order a refill!"
The man replies, "Oh, I'm just peeking at a photo of my wife. When she
starts to look good, then I know it's time for me to go home."
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."