Jar Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
    He then asked the students if the jar was full.
    They agreed that it was.
    The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
    He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
    They agreed it was.
    The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.
    The students responded with a unanimous "yes."
    The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.
    The students laughed.
    "Now," said more...

    A new doctor had arrived in town. He could cure anything and anybody. Everyone was amazed with what he could do - everyone except for Mr. Thompson, the town skeptic.
    Grumpy old Mr. Thompson went to visit this' miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. When it was time for his appointment he told the doctor, "Hey, doc, I've lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin' to do?"
    The doctor scratched his head and mumbled to himself a little, then told Mr. Thompson, "What you need is jar number 47."
    So the doctor brought the jar out, opened it, and told Mr. Thompson to taste it. He tasted it and immediately spit it out, "This is gross!" he yelled. "Looks like I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Thompson," said the doctor. So Mr. Thompson went home.... very mad.
    One month later, Mr. Thompson decides to go back to the doctor and try once again to expose him as a fake, by complaining of a new more...

    McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave. "Excuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done. "What was that all about?"

    "Nothing," said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."

    A man walks into a bar and finds a jar full of money on the counter. He asks the bartender what it's for. The bartender replies, "Every night we have a contest that you have to complete three tasks to win all the money in the jar."The man asks, "What are the tasks?""First, you have to go over to Jimmy the bouncer and knock him out with one hit. Then, well, there's a pitbull out back and you have to pull its blunt tooth out. Finally, the bosses wife is up stairs and you have to go pleasure her, but you have to put down ten dollars to play." said the bartender."Damn." says the man. Later that night, after several drinks, the man smacks down a ten dollar bill and says, "I'm in."He walks over to the bouncer and swings. One hit he's out cold. The man falls flat on his face also, but gets up and walks out back. All you hear is the dog howling. Then the man steps back in, goes over to the bartender and asks, "Now where's that lady with more...

    McPherson walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave. "Scuse me," said another bar patron, who was puzzled over what McPherson had done. "What was that all about?" "Nothing," said the Irishman, "my wife sent me out for a jar of olives."

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