Mafioso Jokes

Q. How do you recognize a surrealistic Mafioso?
A. Carries a giraffe in his violin case and make you an offer that uses biomorphic forms and accidental effects that approach abstraction, to compensate for the sociopolitical and religious forces that are found so oppressive and stultifying in contemporary society.

Mario the mafioso gave his son Tony a handgun for his 13th birthday. The next week, when Mario asked to see the gun, Tony proudly showed him a new watch that he had traded the gun for.
Mario was quite upset and said to Tony: "So, Tony, when you get married and someday come home and catch your wife in bed with another man, whatchu gonna do - look at your watch and ask "How long you gonna be?""

A mafioso's son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new..." He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away. He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so I want a new..." He again looks at it with disgust and throws it away. He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother's room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet, and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes, "Dear baby Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again..."