Lowering Jokes

If Walmart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?

A minister was sitting reading the newspaper, and listening to the ball game on the television when his beautiful nine year old daughter ran into the room, jumped onto his lap and asked:
"Daddy? Who is God?"
"Sweetheart, that will be the subject of tonights sermon, can you wait' till church tonight, listen to what I have to say and then make your own decisions, or would you really like to discuss it now?"
"Yeah--I can wait daddy thanks" and off she ran to play with the dog.
Later at church, all is quite and the minister starts his sermon. Throwing his right arm in the air and shouts: "GOD" and then a little softer voice, and lowering his arm "is neither man---- nor woman" and looks around at the congregation.

All is quite with the exception of a few "Praise the lords" & "Amen brothers." After a slight pause the preacher again throws his right arm in the air and again shouts: more...

If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, why isn't anything in the store is free yet?

A Buddhist and a Hindu went skydiving together. As they prepared to jump, the Buddhist said, "If anything should go wrong-"
"Nothing will go wrong," said the Hindu. "But if it does, God will save me."
"Not a chance," the Buddhist said, "Because there IS no God. There is only your Essential Buddha Nature." The Hindu scoffed at this.
The pair leaped out of the plane. Halfway down, they discovered that their parachutes wouldn't open.
"My God!" screamed the Hindu. "Save me!" But he continued to plummet.
Just then he heard the Buddhist say, "I call upon my own Essential Buddha Nature." Immediately, a giant hand came out of nowhere, cradled the Buddhist in its palm and gently began lowering him to earth.
The terrified Hindu too cried out, "I call upon my own Essential Buddha Nature!" With that, another giant hand appeared, cradled the Hindu in its palm and started gently more...