Palm Jokes

Tell someone if they rub their palm really hard and it smells like peanut butter they will be rich one day...

then when they are smelling their palm push their arm into them and they will slap themself in the face.

Two anthropologists fly to the South Sea islands to study the natives. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work. A few months later one of them takes a canoe over to the other island to see how his colleague is doing. When he gets there, he finds the other anthropologist standing among a group of natives.
"Greetings! How is it going?" says the visiting anthropologist.
"Wonderful!" says the other, "I have discovered an important fact about the local language! Watch!"
He points at a palm tree and says, "What is that?"
The natives, in unison, say "Umbalo-gong!"
He then points at a rock and says, "and that?"
The natives again intone "Umbalo-gong!"
"You see!" says the beaming anthropologist, "They use the SAME word for 'rock' and for 'palm tree'!"
"That is truly amazing!" says the astonished visiting anthropologist, "On the other island, the same more...

Two anthropologists fly to the south sea islands to study the natives. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work. A few months later one of them takes a canoe over to the other island to see how his colleague is doing. When he gets there, he finds the other anthropologist standing among a group of natives. "Greetings! How is it going?" says the visiting anthropologist. "Wonderful!" says the other, "I have discovered an important fact about the local language! Watch!" He points at a palm tree and says, "what is that?" The natives, in unison, say "Umbalo-gong!" He then points at a rock and says, "and that?" The natives again intone "Umbalo-gong!" "You see!", says the beaming anthropologist, "They use the SAME word for' rock' and for' palm tree'!" "That is truly amazing!" says the astonished visiting anthropologist, "On the other island, the same word means' ind ex finger'!"

A scientist gets on a train to go to New York. His cabin also has a poor farmer in it. To pass the time the scientist decides to play a game with the guy.
"I will ask you a question and if you get it wrong, you have to pay me 1 dollar. Then you ask me a question, and if I get it wrong, you get 10 dollars. You ask me a question first." The farmer thinks for a while.
"I know. What has three legs, takes 10 hours to climb up a palm tree, and 10 seconds to get back down?" The scientist is confused and thinks long and hard about the question. Finally, the train ride is coming to an end. As it pulls into the station, the scientist takes out 10 dollars and gives it to the farmer.
"I don't know. What has 3 legs, takes 10 hours to get up a palm tree and 10 seconds to get back down?" The farmer takes the 10 dollars and puts it into his pocket. He then takes out 1 dollar and hands it to the scientist.
"I don't know."

Bill Gates died in an automible accident. When he was taken up to meet "Him", He told Bill "Bill, you have done alot of things for this world, you changed the way technology works. You were a great man so I am going to let you chose where you want to go Heaven or Hell." Bill said, "Can I see them first?" So bill went and saw what Hell looked like, 'It had a beach, palm trees, it was beautiful, sunny, there were rivers, to say the least it was beautiful. Bill was shocked, if this was hell then what did Heaven look like. So he went and checked it out. In heaven there were angels playing harps and it was relaxing. After thinking on it he decided to go to hell, so he got his wish! About a week later"He" went to check up on Bill, when He came, Bill yelled, "WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BEAUTIFUL BEACHES AND THE PALM TREES AND THE RIVERS. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SUN. AFTER YOU DROPPED ME OFF ALL OF THE BEAUTIFUL THNGS DISAPPERED AND THESE LITTLE CREAUTRES more...