Kangaroo Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?
A: A jump rope

A kangaroo hopped into one of the better midtown Manhattan bars and requested a Martini, dry. The bartender had never seen a kangaroo outside the zoo, but he complied with the request.
"How much?" asked the kangaroo.
"A dollar and a half," said the bartender.
As the marsupial downed the drink, the bartender remarked, "I've never seen a kangaroo in here before."
"No," said the kangaroo, "and at these prices, you're not likely to again."

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out. When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?" The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!"

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just sauntering around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out. When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?" The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!"

Teacher: What's this a picture of? Class: Don't know, Miss. Teacher: It's a kangaroo. Class: What's a kangaroo, miss? Teacher: A kangaroo is a native of Australia. Smallest boy: Wow, my sister's married one of them

An Englishman goes to Australia with his wife, they stay in a 5 star
hotel and hire a limo for the day. While driving along the road, his
wife asks, "Look! What is that man doing with that Kangaroo?"
The man says, "My God! Don't look, it's disgusting."
Further down the road the wife says, "Look, another one!" and
husband says,
"Disgusting! I shall report this when we get back to the hotel."
They arrive back at the hotel only to find a man with one wooden leg
having a wank on the steps of the hotel. The husband charges in and
says, "Look we come here in good faith, to stay in your 5 star hotel
and what happens? We are driving down the road and we come across a
drover in copulation with a kangaroo. Further on, recurrence of the
same thing. Then we get back here only to find a man with one leg,
ONE WOODEN LEG, masturbating on your steps. Well, what do you have
to say about more...

A woman entered a psychiatrists consulting room leadind a kangaroo."Im worried about my husband, doctor, " she said. "He keeps thinking hes a kangaroo! "