Disgusting Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders ahamburger.The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "ONE BURGER!"The cook, who's even bigger, screams, "BUR-GER!"Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it inhis bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and tosses it on the grill.The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I've everseen!"The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in themorning when he makes the doughnuts!"and orders ahamburger.The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "ONE BURGER!"The cook, who's even bigger, screams, "BUR-GER!"Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it inhis bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and tosses it on the grill.The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I've everseen!"The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in themorning when he makes the doughnuts!"

    Once upon a time an evil king captured a virgin princess and held her captive in his high tower. Though she was very beautiful he forced her to wear a disgusting and smelly burlap dress. "You'll never get away with this," she cried. "Some brave knight will rescue me!" "Not in that thing," the evil king replied. She waited day and night, but it was just as the king predicted. Every knight that saw her in the window of the high tower was scared away by her dress, which, as I've mentioned, was very disgusting. After many months the princess broke down crying and the evil king taunted her, "You see? I told you no knight would rescue a damsel in this dress!"

    So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!"

    Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts."

    Editor's note: First the warning that came with the joke -- "This is by no means an endorsement on the term' fag'" Now my warning -- this is the most disgusting, perverted joke I've posted to date. And I've posted some nasty ones. Please, don't write. Don't read it if you get offended by not-very-funny sick jokes...

    ------------------

    This fag walks into a bar and sits down at the counter and orders a beer. The bartender takes one look at him and says "We don't serve your kind in here. Get the hell out."

    The fag says "It's hotter than hell outside and I could really use a cold beer. I'll just sit over in the corner and not bother anyone if you'll just get me one beer."

    The bartender says "No, I told you we don't serve your kind in here so get the hell out now."

    The fag says "How bout if I take a drink out of this spitoon will you give me a drink?"

    "NO, get out more...

    An Englishman goes to Australia with his wife, they stay in a 5 star
    hotel and hire a limo for the day. While driving along the road, his
    wife asks, "Look! What is that man doing with that Kangaroo?"
    The man says, "My God! Don't look, it's disgusting."
    Further down the road the wife says, "Look, another one!" and
    husband says,
    "Disgusting! I shall report this when we get back to the hotel."
    They arrive back at the hotel only to find a man with one wooden leg
    having a wank on the steps of the hotel. The husband charges in and
    says, "Look we come here in good faith, to stay in your 5 star hotel
    and what happens? We are driving down the road and we come across a
    drover in copulation with a kangaroo. Further on, recurrence of the
    same thing. Then we get back here only to find a man with one leg,
    ONE WOODEN LEG, masturbating on your steps. Well, what do you have
    to say about more...

  • Recent Activity